Patience And Waiting: Knowing I Don't Have All The Answers

Patience And Waiting: Knowing I Don't Have All The Answers

"These are birth pains, and you will come out of this born anew. Remember you are a Beloved child of God, and God is walking with you."


Patience is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as "the ability to bear pains or trials calmly or without complaint." I am writing this article because of the negative dispositional traits of what makes me who I am, that I'd like to tackle and ameliorate: being impetuous and being impatient. I am a deeply impatient person, sometimes, walking through life with a chip on my shoulder, working in quick spurts, expecting results and expecting them now, rather than later. Life, unfortunately, does not cower to my sense of urgency all the time, and the answer for me, now, is to seek and find patience for elements of life outside my control.

I like to think I walk through my life with the best of intentions, with a keen sense of justice, with an eye for empathy, with a constant and unwavering pursuit to become a better person and servant. I am not aware if this mission is a simple case in self-deception, but I realize, in writing this article, that I cannot look outwards for answers in how to be more patient. I need to look within, and use the tools I already have, the experiences I've already gone through, to realize what patience is, and how I can acquire more and more of it.

I do not walk through my life self-righteous, and that's the least I can say. "Lord forgive me, a sinner," I pray every single day. It's tough for me to be patient when I am in this much pain and this much confusion. But there has to be a way, some way, to acquire and find it.

One way that I truly believe in is the ability to listen, to empathize with other people who feel the same level of pain. It is the role of helpers like counselors, ministers, and social workers to not afflict the comfortable, but to comfort the afflicted, to provide every person a listening ear when they're in need. I like to believe that I have a gift for comforting the afflicted, a gift for listening to people who feel as if their voice does not deserve to be heard elsewhere, because who am I to pass judgment?

The natural question that arises, therefore, is why I cannot do that for myself, why I find it so difficult to practice what I preach about the gift of vulnerability, to share the same amount of suffering others do with me as I do to others. I go back and forth all the time about what I'm allowed to share and how much I'm willing to spread my pain.

I secretly wish for quick fixes, tricks, and mantras that can be panaceas to every problem I am facing, every challenge I have to face in my daily life, from the assignment I have due in an hour, to the conversation with a friend I have to confess how much better I am for their friendship. I am very well-aware that life does not work that way, that there are no easy solutions and quick fixes to many of these problems, but that does not stop me from being tempted towards them.

And maybe that temptation to look for quick fixes and easy solutions is a symptom of a problem rather than the actual problem. I do not know why I do, and if I did, maybe I would be able to stop and do something about it. But I cannot, and the goal for this article, perhaps, is to be at peace with my circumstances and my tendencies, to be comfortable where I am. They say to live in the present, but they never tell you how, or at least I have never personally discovered how.

So how do I live in the present, and stop being impatient about things happening in the future, the things that will happen tomorrow, that are of pressing nature? The things that have worked for me are strategies of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings - reminding myself to take life one day at a time, reminding myself that I am not alone in my pain, suffering, and impatience, to remind myself that my struggles are part of some greater plan, purpose, and community than myself. Today is a new day. Tomorrow is another one, far in the future.

I will be honest in that if I were to live life as an individual, only for myself, I would have no reason to go on living. I have written before about how I have seen it as my life mission, of late, to get others to believe in themselves. I live my life for my family, for my friends, for my God. I live not to afflict the comfortable, but to comfort the afflicted, as a supporter of the downtrodden, as someone who has made it his life epitaph to break the power of shame. And I want action and want it quickly: that is just the state of being a 21-year-old college student. Maybe I will be patient one day - but I am not now, and that's fine.

In writing, I know I don't have all the answers, and perhaps I never will. Perhaps impatience is just the state of affairs, and acceptance of that human impulse is just natural. But in closing, I would like to reference the wise words of my pastor, Reverend Lisa Garvin: "these are birth pains, and you will come out of this born anew. Remember you are a Beloved child of God, and God is walking with you."

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Here's What Happens When All Of Your Friends Have Babies

All of my friends back home are married with children. No, really, they are.


Over the past few months, three of my friends have shared their pregnancy news with me, and I couldn't be more thrilled. Baby news always stirs up a range of emotions for me. I'm excited and crying happy tears (no joke, I started to cry when my best friend told me and showed me her ultrasound).

Being "Auntie Meg" brings me such great joy. You see, I absolutely adore children, especially my friend's kiddos. They can easily brighten up my day with their giggles, love you, and their goodbye kisses & waves. I absolutely love getting to be "Auntie Meg"; it could potentially be my favorite role to fill.

I don't think I've ever loved human beings more than I love these babies. These are kiddos I would do almost anything for; they truly have my whole heart and I couldn't be more thankful for each and every one of them. I've loved getting to watch my friends grow into incredible parents.

I love getting to be one of the biggest cheerleaders for my friends and their kids. Listen, I can't wait for the day when they are older and are asking to come over more and spend time doing fun things with auntie Meg. I can't wait to watch them grow and I can't wait to be able to come alongside them and be a shoulder to cry on and one of the loudest voices cheering them on (Next to mom and dad, of course).

While there is just so much good about your friends growing up and having children of their own, if you are not careful, it can also fuel a person's self-doubt.

It can bring up questions like, "am I good enough?", "what is wrong with me?", "why am I not where they are at?" I would be lying if I said that I have never thought or felt these things, but here's the thing: you are good enough, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and their path is not your path; you will get there when you get there.

Those things are so important to remember in times when you begin to doubt yourself or your worth.

Believe me, you are good enough, there is nothing wrong with you, and that is not the path you need to be on at the moment. This is a great time for you to focus on you and the things you want out of life. What are your goals? What is on your bucket list? Just because you don't have the things your friends have, doesn't make your life any less fulfilled than theirs is. Your life is just as wonderful and fulfilling as theirs is, just in different ways.

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