How To Pair Your Favorite Hip-Hop Albums With The Appropriate Cheese
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How To Pair Your Favorite Hip-Hop Albums With The Appropriate Cheese

Sure you've listened to the greats, but have you really?

How To Pair Your Favorite Hip-Hop Albums With The Appropriate Cheese

You're a Hip-Hop head and you're sitting on a stockpile of fine cheeses. Sure, you can continue your routine: listen to a head-bobbin' album and get all hyped up, then turn it into the cheese shed for some of that sweet sweet asiago. And sure, you're happy enough, as you should be! You're the proud owner of highly revered beats and cheeses. But can you combine the best of both worlds? From Compton to Wisconsin, and a lot of other places, I got you covered. I'll show you how to pair which cheeses with which albums so you can appear simultaneously classier and more street-wise than ever before.

First on the list is Kanye West. I can't tell you how many times I'm approached everyday by people frustrated that they can't find a cheese to pair well with Kanye's work. Fret not. Kanye's albums are as nuanced as they are explosive, and it demands a cheese of an equal caliber.

I find that Yeezus goes well with most chessus (sorry), but for his work overall my suggestion is mozzarella di bufala campana. This is a soft cheese made from buffalo milk. See, the buffalo is to mozzarella di bufala campana as Chicago is to Kanye. Much like Kanye, it has a tough exterior that protects a soft heart that is equal parts vulnerable and delicious.

Well that's all well and good, but what about Dr. Dre's The Chronic? Alright, Alright, but this one isn't easy either. This album comes back from an ancient time known as the early 90's. During this mystical time, Dre bumped heads with the likes of Snoop Dogg, Warren G., and many others to make this iconic gangsta rap record. It went triple platinum and launched Snoop's career. But what cheese should you have on hand when you're listening to "Deeez Nuuuts?"

None other than Gruyere of course! This is a hard cheese. Real hard. Like grew up in Compton, experienced a messy divorce at an early age, and had to switch schools constantly due to gang violence hard. Gruyere also has a prolonged aging process, which goes hand in hand with the Chronic. Just like Dre, Gruyere comes from a cow and has been described by Wikipedia as, "creamy and nutty when young, becoming more assertive, earthy, and complex as it matures. When fully aged (five months to a year) it tends to have small cracks which impart a slightly grainy texture.[citation needed] " (Ignore that citation needed bit, this comes straight from some stranger on the internet, they wouldn't lie to you.)

Now, what if you don't want your cheese/Hip-Hop to set the trend like mozzarella di bufala campana orgruyere, like Kanye or Dre? What about Death Grips? Any Hip-Hop artist deserves to be experienced alongside a cheese as ground-breaking and experimental as their music.

Death Grips is a front-runner in experimental Hip-Hop. They are eclectic and raw. They repeatedly don't show up to gigs, jump record labels, and exist to flirt with the realm of what society accepts, just like this cheese:

Cato corner hooligan is seemingly benign, but this ethically gray raw-milk cheese is a force to be reckoned with. Forged from the wicked hands of a former school teacher, this cheese is reportedly so heinous, it has been shipped by DHL in a hazardous waste drum, so as to contain the mighty wickedness within. Like Death Grips, this cheese does not simply exist, it screams. Pairing cato corner hooligan to Death Grips is a unholy union wrought in Hell Fire. Do it. Do it because your parents wouldn't want you to and also because it will confuse them.

Last on the list is Enya. Enya is good with any cheese. Praise be unto her.

Keep experimenting dear readers! Give a second chance to albums and cheeses you've tried before and hated. It just might be that you haven't found the right pair. Keep your Yeezus close to your cheesus.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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