Dearest Jojo,
Well, it has been a crazy season and you probably know that better than anyone else. Together, we have been through a lot of ups and downs in the last few weeks, and the season finale is quickly approaching. As next week’s two-part episode nears, there are a few things that we have all been thinking that you must know.
First off, you absolutely slay. The curls in your hair are always shiny and perfect. You never even have a single fly away. Your wardrobe? Goals. You always manage to look like you are straight out of a fashion catalog. And not to mention your makeup is on point in any situation. You have single-handedly become everyone’s newest girl crush.
Second of all, I’ve got to say, as pretty as you are, you are an idiot. You said goodbye to the sweetest of all sweethearts. I think I speak for everyone when I say James Taylor’s heartbreak was sadder than any Nicholas Sparks movie. While he didn’t necessarily acquire the pretty boy features, he had a heart bigger than the great state of Texas. He was genuine. It was clear that all he wanted was for you to be happy. And yet, you sent him home. Way to go, Jojo. You blew it.
Next, I’m going to have to ask you to tone down the dramatics. Jojo, we love you, but the waterworks are just extreme. There is no need for you to cry during every single episode. Also, I’m tired of hearing about how stressed out you are. You have men lined up every week, just vying for your attention and love. Men are literally falling all over you. Can you imagine the stress of not having any guys? Yeah, think about that next time you even think of complaining. We would all kill to be in your position.
Lastly, on a more serious note, you have a big decision to make. This choice will determine the rest of your life. (No pressure, right?) You remember what it was like to be on the other side. So, be compassionate, yet honest. From what we’ve seen on the screen, it seems like Robby isn’t the one. The ex-girlfriend is clearly still in the picture. Chase’s story is real and it undoubtedly makes him more likable, but he just doesn’t quite strike me as the winner. Jordan is great and all, but if I’m going to give it to you straight, then Luke is the one. No one can make this decision for you, but honey, you’ve got to pick Luke.
Overall, it has been one heck of a season. We are happy to have spent it with you, Jojo. Thank you for making our Mondays a little less crappy. Good luck with your decision.
XOXO,
Bach Nation
