1. The crunchy feel of fallen leaves under your feet. Then, the feeling of slipping on said leaves because it rained last night and they’re all wet and your boots haven’t shipped yet. After that, the feelings of pain and shame that come with you falling really hard onto the pavement.

2. Drinking a pumpkin spice latte and realizing that, if this was available year-round, you definitely wouldn’t be drinking it right now. Seriously. Ever wanted pumpkin-flavored drinks in the summer? I didn’t think so.

3. The weather! As every day gets a little bit colder, my smile grows bigger. We all love being freezing in the morning and just about dying of heatstroke in the afternoon. I mean, my feet were really comfy in these boots earlier…why am I about to pass out?

4. The start of school! And, with it, the start of a collective mental breakdown among all students across the country. The thrill of reading a hundred pages a night is comparable to that of a roller coaster. Why sit on a beach when you can sit in a classroom?

5. America’s favorite sport: interpretive canoeing! Forget football – this art form incorporates everyone’s two favorite things: kneeling in hard wooden boats and winning awards for truly pointless activities. The national championships take place in September of every year – truly a signal that fall has ~fallen~ upon us. Enjoy:

6. Squirrels. Has anyone ever thought these words – “I wish I saw more squirrels today”? I sure have! What would I do if squirrels didn’t materialize out of nowhere every few seconds, run in front of me, and terrify me every 30 seconds?

8. Apple picking with friends! Except it’s not apple picking so much as it is picking apples up off the ground. Then the really fun part: Staggering back to your car with a full bag of apples in each hand, only for the handles of the bags to break. That’s what I call catharsis.

9. Seeing other people talk about how much they love fall. Please, tweet a collage of leaves, Halloween, hot drinks, and UGGs again. I beg you. Please. I missed it the first 15 times I saw it. *insert pumpkin, ghost, and leaf emojis here*

Bonus: One more interpretive canoeing video as an apology for this article.