Ever since I was a young kid, I have been obsessed with musicals. I would look up the plot online, and then listen to the music until I knew all the words by heart.
Musicals would resonate strongly with me because I identified with many of the characters and their stories. As I grew up, they were one of the most powerful ways for me to express my emotions. I would listen to "Confidence" from "The Sound of Music" to calm my nerves before the first day of school. I listened to "Defying Gravity" from "Wicked" when I needed reassurance that I could attain success. I listened to "On My Own" from "Les Miserables" many times during my most difficult heart breaks. In multiple ways, musicals helped me to grow into the person I am today because the stories proved to me that I was not the only one experiencing certain emotions.
When "Hamilton" came to Broadway, my friends immediately recommended it to me. As a life long fan of musicals and a History and Political Science major, I seemed like the perfect candidate to fall head over heels in love with Lin-Manuel Miranda's newest phenomenon. However, I was extremely hesitant to let myself become obsessed with another musical. I let myself become immersed in the stories and the characters of musicals all throughout my life.
When musicals end, it breaks my heart. It saddened me that I learn all I can about musicals, learn all the songs, and then eventually I run out of material to learn. I feel empty and incomplete when the musicals ended. The saddest part for me was that my love for musicals could only be one sided. The characters aren't real, so they could never love me as much as I love them.
I have felt this many times before with books, TV shows, movies, etc. I am certainly no stranger to falling in love with the fictional. However, there is something about musicals that absolutely breaks my heart when they end. Many musicals are the perfect combination of beautiful music, theatre, and story telling. I have relied on them ever since I was young to help me through tough times and to help me celebrate good times. So it's easy for me to say that I hate them in order to not fall in love with them and then be upset when they end.
Despite my recent proclaimed hatred for musical theatre, I have let myself listen to the "Hamilton" soundtrack. And I have to say, I absolutely adore it. The truth is, I don't think I will ever be able to hate all musicals. I hate how sad the endings make me, and I hate how emotionally invested I get in the fiction of it all. However, I realized that I am the person I am today because I had certain stories to rely on and characters to identify with from certain musicals. I believe that I will continue to grow and learn things for the rest of my life. And I am sure there will be more musicals I will discover soon to help me through it.
