No, I'm not a mom.
I got over 10 hours of sleep last night. I don't have spit up on my sweats. My house is clean, and baby bottles don't fill the sink. I leave for work without having to drop my child off at daycare or worry about babysitting arrangements. Life is easier for me, and I understand that.
But most of you chose this, you wanted this, and you got this. This precious gift you post constantly about changing your life! This irreplaceable tiny human that's an exact replica of yourself. This sweet baby with the sweet baby feet and sweet baby toes.
This. Is. What. You. Have.
And as a bystander to this miracle, you all make me excited, you really do. I'm so damn eager and hopeful to have that experience one day. That day is just not right now for me, and I've accepted that.
But what I need the mom's to accept-is that you don't just get a free pass.
"I should get to cut to the front of the line with my toddler-I've been up all night while the pretty little thing in front of me clearly has had 10+ hours of sleep."
Accept the fact that most of you made the decision to have your baby, but that doesn't give you a free pass to receive things others don't just because you're a mom.
Yes, you were up until 4am, making your sleep-count at an astonishing 4 hours...
Yeah.. you do have spit up on the shirt you've been wearing for three days straight, we see that.
And I get you have a million other things you have to do while lugging your baby around in the process.
That is tough.
But there are people who are not mothers that also have a tough time.
Like the person wheeling her oxygen tank BEHIND you in line.
Or the attorney at the very back who has worked an 80 hour week.
How about the "pretty little thing" in front of you that you assumed slept soundly last night?
She did.. just after working a 15 hour shift to be able to pay rent for the month.
My point being- you do not get a pass since you're a mom because a lot of other people are something. Whether that's struggling, anxiety ridden, suicidal, homeless, jobless- whatever it is, your motherhood doesn't always trump it.
Another common Mom move recently has been dictating what makes someone a mom. Mom's are apparently fuming that us fur-mom's would even consider ourselves as "parents". We didn't push the dog out of our body, we didn't grow it from inside our womb. It just doesn't count in their eyes, and they let it be known!
"Just wait until you have a baby growing inside of you. That kind of love is unmatchable."
And Karen.. sweet, sweet Karen.. I'm sure it is. I can't imagine, and I'm truly so excited. But I will not give you a pass for telling me that my love for my dog is less than your love for your child. Why? Because it's not your decision to make, and it's not your right to make it.
Some people will never be able to grow a child in them or carry that baby to term. There are several people that this effects- nearly 10% of women all over the world in fact. So what you mom's are doing, is looking into the face of one of those 10% and saying- "your love for that thing that relies on you is cute and all, but wait until it's an actual human and it develops fully in your belly. Then you'll know what it's really like to be a mom."
I know now actually, and let me tell you what I've gathered.
I don't expect to cut to the front of the line because my dog kept me up all night getting sick and needing to be let out.
I don't think I should be able to cut the younger girls and guys,that I assume have an easier life than me because I don't have any way of knowing that, and that's just not how life is.
And I surely don't believe people without children owe me something or any type of an explanation in regards to ANYTHING.
Mom's we appreciate you! We do, and we completely understand that your life has changed, and baby bottles, what formula your child actually does okay with, and "is their poop normal" will probably be your discussion 90 percent of the time..
But appreciate others too, and stop feeling like the world owes you something just for birthing a child. Yes it's something that is BEAUTIFUL and amazing, and irreplaceable! But on the other hand, so is starting a no kill shelter for all animals with no place to go, so is putting yourself through college because you have no one around to help and your drowning in debt, so is going to Rehab for addiction, and so is having a freaking dog and considering it your child!
Mom's are special, but they are not the only special things. You don't get a pass to the front of the line because you don't deserve it over everyone else. So stop expecting you do.