I've known since I was seven years old that I want to be an engineer. Yes, this sounds crazy, and no, I did not know that an engineer was the exact thing that I wanted to be when I was a mere seven years of age. This much, however, I did know: the best thing I had done in school up to that point in my life was cut and tape egg cartons, toilet paper rolls, cotton balls and a cereal box to make the longest marble ramp in my class. The fun I had building it, as well as the excitement in watching it work, all added to the fact that I was the most successful at it in my class made me want to do that for the rest of my life. OK, so maybe not exactly that, but you get the idea.

Fast forward to the seventh grade where I did research on about a million different topics before finally choosing what I wanted to do for my science fair project. The other students had parents and older siblings to help them with theirs, but when my mom asked me if I needed help, I told her no and dove straight in to working. I assembled a wind-up toy car out of cardboard, two CDs, some toothpicks, some poster putty, a hot glue gun and a rubber band. After building it and adjusting it several times, I finally got it working to my satisfaction (it went surprisingly fast for being made out of such cheap materials). My project won me second place at the science fair in the physics category. That same year was the year I knew I would be studying mechanical engineering in college, and aiming to go to MIT.

By the time I hit the eighth grade, I was aiming to go to a very unique public high school that contained one of the best engineering programs in the country for high-schoolers. In order to attend, you had to have a stellar freshman year in whichever mathematics course you were taking, and pass both a written and math exam to be accepted for your sophomore year. I made it in, and did well in the program for three full years of high school, studying drafting, physics mechanics, descriptive geometry, 3-D modeling and architecture. I graduated with even more excitement for the field and what it held in store for me. Even though I was rejected by many schools, including MIT, Berkeley, U.C. San Diego and Georgia Tech, I still had hope that I'd make it through four years of undergrad without any major mishaps, and be on my way to graduate school (hopefully at MIT).

Now, after completing two years of undergraduate studies at the University of Portland, I have come across a couple of large obstacles in my path. Classes and course work are as difficult as one might imagine them to be, and being the type of individual who strives to be well-rounded in life, my attention is not always as much on my studies as they probably should be. I find it frustrating that university requires so much of one's time and attention (I won't even delve into the monetary aspect) to studying, when there is so much else that young adults should be learning and participating in during this time of their lives. Nonetheless, things are the way that they are, and most of us have to live within the confines of the current academic system, as annoying or frustrating that may be.

So why do I rant on and on about school and my chosen career path in life? Well, here's why. I have faced enough self-doubt in the last six months to make up for the many, many years of uncertainty that most people live through (trust me, I know that most people don't have their career planned out by the time they are 11). Am I saying that I no longer want to be an engineer? No, not exactly. Am I saying that even if you experience a butt-load of self-doubt, you should ignore the doubt and continue pursuing something that may be extremely taxing on you? No, I'm not really saying that either. What I am trying to get at is that nothing in life ever comes too easily, and that is more than fine. Some people find the career of their dreams and put everything they have into it. Others stumble around college without the faintest idea of what they want to study or do as a career. And yet plenty of others go into college knowing they want one thing, and happen across experiences or people that introduce them to a field that they are even more passionate about. Regardless of your circumstance, or amount of progress on the "What I Want to be When I Grow Up" journey, it is more than OK to feel lost, or want more tangible experience in life. We were all thrown into a questionable education system that really only taught us how to be ready to sit in on two or three hour lecture courses and take notes. So when we get a taste of what career life is, outside of that standardized crap, it's shocking and jarring, and maybe even a little scary.

As I am sure many of you have heard many times in your life, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius.