"That's what she said."

Classic.

"I am running away from my responsibilities, and it feels so good."

Gotta be honest, am I right?

"I am Beyonce, always."

Let this be your new bio.

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where its going. I just hope I find it along the way."

The best way to describe you foot in mouth to your crush:

"I think that pretty much sums it up."

When a potential bae leaves you on read.

"Nope, don't like that."

When the bio doesn't match the picture.

"I don't even consider myself a part of society."

Stay truthful.

"'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. — Wayne Gretzky"

Shoot your shot, hun.

"Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?"

You gotta make sure.

"I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go."

When you're bored and a weird match asks to hangout.

"You know what they say: fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice...strike three."

Make them know you're not a force to reckon with, girl.

"Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order."

Make sure they know making bread comes first...but maybe last.

"Hi, I'm Date Mike."

C'mon, it's a total pick up line!

Was it just me or did you think we were going to have sex at some point?"

When you know, you know.