In A World Full Of Divorce, Praise The Couples Who Make It

In A World Full Of Divorce, Praise The Couples Who Make Their Marriage Last

Marriage is work but it's worth it when you're committed to the right person.

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In America, one divorce happens approximately every 36 seconds.

If one does the math, that means there are nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces per year. The divorce rate has tripled since our grandparents time and now in this day and age, there are more divorced people than married people. This is a sad statistic and yet some people celebrate the end of their marriage by throwing divorce parties.

Hollywood further attempts to glamorize divorce by creating TV shows, such as "Splitting Up Together," which portrays divorce as okay. How about a TV show that celebrates people doing the really hard work and staying together because they are truly in love? For the most part, no matter how one dices it, divorce is not attractive and very rarely do you hear someone say they "loved getting a divorce."

While there are instances that a divorce is necessary, most couples today seem to cite "irreconcilable differences" as the main reason for their divorce. I fully acknowledge that since I have never experienced a divorce myself, or have been a child of divorced parents, grandparents or even great-grandparents, that I do not know the full story/effect it can have on someone and their family.

On the other hand, I have continuously witnessed divorce through the eyes of someone who has been through it, or who has been a child of divorce as well.

I grew up thinking that once you got married, you were committed and in love with that person for life no matter what.

I believed the fairy tales growing up, believing that I'd someday meet my soulmate and that I'd live happily ever after. The first time I learned that fairytale endings weren't always the case when a former good friend's parents announced they were getting divorced.

To me, it seemed like nothing was wrong with their marriage. Whenever I was around her family, they always seemed happy, so the divorce was a surprise to me. My friend called me crying and I cried with them and their family after they told me their news. My friend felt like it was their fault and that they would never have a normal life again.

This statement from my friend showed that no matter how much we try to normalize divorce, it still has a painful and difficult effect on those going through it. After the divorce happened, my friend was really never the same. She had a lot of issues trusting people and used her parents as an excuse for their over-the-top behavior.

So many people have told me that I just don't "get it" because my parents aren't divorced, but to be honest, I don't want to "get it."

I get that life isn't easy and that people make mistakes. I am in no way trying to generalize what people go through or what causes them to lead up to a divorce, but what I do not understand is why is it that divorce seems to be people's first idea when going through a hard time with their spouse?

My parents are not perfect, but they have gone through many highs and lows together. While I am sure the low times are challenging for them, they always come out on the other side together. It doesn't happen immediately sometimes, but even when they do have disagreements, I know they will work it out eventually. They know that marriage is work and they make that "work" a priority.

They know that their love is stronger than anything that is thrown at them and they never try to purposefully hurt each other. To me, this gives me hope that there are people that will stick with you, even when the going gets tough. There are people who will love you, despite being upset with you, and will work to get it resolved. Marriage is about sacrifice and overcoming challenges as a team.

This is why two become one and you vow to love each other through sickness, health, rich or poor because as long as you love each other, you can overcome anything.

I don't want to have a second husband, I don't want my potential kids to have to feel like they need to pick sides between mom or dad and I don't want to give up on something if there is first a potential to fix it. This is why I am picky when it comes to who I choose to date. I want to make sure anyone I would potentially marry would value our marriage and would fight for me and our love, even when it seems impossible. I want them to choose us even when the going gets tough. I believe that people should not settle and that we should really get to know our partner before we commit to marriage.

Marriage should not be taken lightly and if entered carelessly and obliviously, it can and does lead to a potential divorce. Marriage is not a fairytale like the movies make it seem like. Marriage is supposed to be a commitment and is full of hard work, so make sure you find the one your soul can spend eternity with and you'd fight for your love, no matter what is thrown at you. Exhaust every single avenue first before giving in. From my limited observation, the grass rarely appears greener on the other side.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for never giving up on each other, for loving each other through the bad times, for making me believe that true love is still out here and for showing me that the key to a successful marriage is communication and endless love. I am blessed to witness a love so strong when I look at you both. I hope one day I find what you two have.

Cover Image Credit:

Statistic Brain

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.

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Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.

Sincerely,

A girl who is sad to go

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When Was The Last Time You Were Alive?

If you can't post it for everyone to see, was it truly a remarkable moment?

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Being alive is an essentially effortless act.

In theory, as long as you're eating food, drinking water, and performing as a human, assuming no major health conditions, most of us are living.

The tragedy I see most often is so very few of us are alive.

Now, I'm not suggesting you drop your textbooks and sprint up a mountain, or go broke trying to find yourself in new activities and events.

That's the illusion pressed onto so many of us. Social Media, more importantly, FOMO, has taught us that in order to truly be alive we need to make sure we travel far and wide, eat gourmet and unique food, and essentially, immerse ourselves in something phenomenal. However, regardless of what you do- don't do it without an audience and the value of your experience will only be justified by the number of likes you accrue on your #bestvacation ever because you #lovenature. With your back to the camera and wispy hair flowing in the beach air, you hit all of your angles, how else will you prove that you're alive to Instagram?

I fell for this too. I spent so much of my life constantly trying to get to the next phase life had to offer. High school was fun, but I was counting the days until graduation. Growing up in a small hometown wasn't awful, but I had sticky note calendars until my next vacation. And day in and day out, events would happen all around me that were just too "normal." I wasn't alive, but I was living.

Setting your soul on fire and truly living is so much more difficult than you could ever expect, but not because you have to drain savings and take along a buddy to snap all the perfect moments.

Choosing to be alive is realizing how important it is to be in this moment or phase in life and accepting it for all its worth. Instead of racing to the finish line or trying to sprint into your next season of assumed happiness, take time to notice all the beautiful and small things that make this moment so important. There is so much life to be found in simple moments.

Semesters are ending, we are all racing to summer. Perhaps in the process, take note of the routine cafeteria worker that constantly smiles at you and says hello. Or perhaps, giggle at the fact that in just a few short weeks that bus driver you see every single morning won't be apart of your morning routine.

The farther I get from what used to be my normal, the more I miss that season of life. I haven't lived in my hometown since I was eighteen, but I miss the simplicity that came with my drives to high school listening to Kanye West and the coziness of a small town opening its doors to start a new day. I never stopped to be alive in those moments, I was just simply living.

Wherever your next phase of life might be, it will always be there. You will always have something else coming. However, once this moment is gone. It's truly gone. Don't waste beautiful views trying to capture just the right picture for Instagram, take in the moment.

Living and experiencing life can be as simple as trusting that you're exactly where you need to be in life. Cherish each moment as you're in it. The next moment is coming whether you're ready or not.

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