For nearly half a decade, I have used Instagram. That means about one fourth of my 18 year old life has been spent double-tapping, commenting on, and sharing aesthetically pleasing images. I’d wake up every morning, unplug my phone from the charger next to my bed, and immediately open up the Instagram app to view my refreshed feed. It was just out of habit. Some mornings I’d double-tap a few artsy posts and comment an assortment of emojis on my friends’ selfie. Other mornings I’d see something that would make my stomach sink. My friends’ "spontaneous adventures" from the night before that I was not invited to. Couple anniversaries. A spam of unrealistic bikini photos of girls at my high school with followings of over 40K. Kylie Jenner’s newest car. These kinds of posts would leave me feeling insecure about myself. They'd put me in a negative mood first thing in the morning.
This summer, I decided I was done.
I was done with the negativity and comparing myself to everyone’s 1080px by 1080px images of filtered perfection. I was done wasting HOURS of my precious life selecting the best photo out of 100 identical ones that would perfectly match my “feed” and editing out every flaw and enhancing every aesthetically pleasing detail to share to over 1.1K friends, aquaintances, and strangers.
In 8 days, I will be beginning a new chapter in my life at college. I will be meeting many new people who may become life-long friends. I want to spend time getting to know them and developing real-life friendships. Insta-stalking someone doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of getting to know them as a person. I don’t want any preconceived assumptions about a person based on their Instagram presence to affect my chances of being their friend.
Another reason why I am disconnecting myself from this app is to stop living in the past. My "feed" represents the highlights of my life during high school. The friends and acquaintances I follow remind me that life will never be the same. And those two or three negative people that I've unfollowed and blocked? Their faces seem to always find their way onto my iPhone screen tagged in photos posted by other accounts. There really is no escaping the spiral of negativity that springs from this insanely addicting app.
So I am done.
I've made my decision, temporarily deactivated my account, logged off, and deleted the multicolored icon from my phone.
I no longer want to be a slave to an app that's always refreshing and highlighting what the latest and greatest is. I want to live in the moment in the real world and enjoy my first semester of college without any added stress or negativity. It may seem a little extreme, but I am doing this to benefit myself and my relationships in the long-run.
..Now, I just check Pinterest and Tumblr more frequently than I used to!
