G'day, mates, it's finals week here at the University of Kansas, and we're in for a real treat. These exploration opportunities only come once a semester, and it's quite a marvelous catch.
Here, we focus on the studious collegiate, or the so-called "college student" and their struggle through this treacherous time. These are my extensive field notes for this expedition.
12/10, 0715 hours: A whistle titled "Big Tooter" begins the college student's long trek across their habitat named "Jayhawk Boulevard." This call to action inspires panic in some and resignation in others.
Regardless, this guide has observed the studious collegiate travel in large masses for purposes unknown. Will report back with more details.
12/10, 1000 hours: There seems to be a ritualistic process occurring at this time. These beings are gathering together in large halls, testing out who is the intellectual best and who is not.
While I've not discovered the exact process yet, I have established that it is difficult and is creating much strife in the hearts and minds of the natives. There is a certain amount of tension in the air that is both unfamiliar and unwanted.
12/11, 1600 hours: I've attempted to approach a group of unique studious collegiate known locally as the "frat pack." Made up of traditionally-male beings clad in Sperry's and salmon-colored pants, these individuals travel in groups up and down Jayhawk Boulevard.
This guide has discovered that it is inherently impossible to interact with just one of these beings. Upon trying to approach a single individual, the group retracted and backed slowly away, chanting, "Natty light, natty light" with increasing volume and hysteria until I retreated behind a tree for a considerable amount of time.
Ultimately, this explorer is quickly learning who the hostile groups in the habitat are.
12/12, 1000 hours: I've discovered what seems to be a crucial watering hole of these beings. What is locally called "The Underground" is where most go to receive sustenance.
The most popular seems to be a chicken dish encased in a tortilla called a "Crunchy Chicken Cheddar Wrap."
This guide can attest to its overall deliciousness. It's quite yummy, mates.
12/13, 1430 hours: Crosswalks are places where man and the technological beast partake in a fierce battle of indifference. Who indeed will be the most apathetic, the studious collegiate walking from one side of the street to the other or the large machine traversing the campus roads?
As the locals say, these kids really be wildin'.
12/14, 2000 hours: Throughout this week, cries of sadness, fear, anger, and, rarely, happiness have filled the air. These loud, piercing shrieks are odd to this explorer, but it seems to be incredibly accepted by the natives.
All in all, these beings seem more than ready for the 40-day hibernation ahead of them. Good luck, studious collegiate. Good luck.
