Journaling Became My New Therapist

Journaling Became My New Therapist

New year, new me...right?


We've all seen the movies of teenage girls keeping journals enclosed with their deepest and darkest secrets - or at least some sort of "therapeutic" form of writing down their feelings. To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Mamma Mia, LOL, Read It And Weep, you name it. They make it seem as though every single girl keeps a secret dear diary. Personally, I never bought it. Like a lot of people I know, I never thought writing down your feelings did really anything at all.

However, as New Year's rolled around, I started contemplating realistic resolutions. Resolutions that I could actually stick to. So I figured I would try the whole journal thing.

Day One was interesting. I didn't know how to start or what to say. I mean, talking to yourself it weird as it is, and putting that into words made me feel like a major freak. I found myself writing awkwardly, at first, not knowing what the heck the purpose of this was. It seems SO easy for the girls in the movies but for some reason, I literally just could not put my feelings into words.

Keep in mind, this is my New Year's Resolution. You can't just give up on your New Year's Resolution on freaking January 1! So, I tried to keep my "creative juices" flowing and kept writing until finally, it all started coming together.

In a way, it was almost overwhelming. I suddenly had so much to write about. I wrote down every new thought that popped into my mind and I could not stop. Halfway through, I realized everything I wrote about would have been something that would have been on my mind, probably inducing anxiety as I attempted to fall asleep. Not only did my little journal-writing experience let me declutter my mind, but it also helped me fall asleep so much faster.

I'm not someone who goes to therapy on a regular basis. I think I have gone to a therapist a total of three times, and frankly, I have never found it that helpful. I mean, I guess it's nice to talk to someone about how you're feeling, but it takes a lot for me to open up to someone and for some reason, it just never really worked out with the stranger sitting across from me taking notes on my every utterance.

My journal, however, provides me with an open space to say everything on my mind without having to worry about how I come off and what people will think about it. It never gets annoyed, it won't tell anyone, and it's the most convenient. In fact, it's the best resolution I've ever had.

So here I am, on my second week of journal-keeping, and loving it. It is seriously the best way to organize your thoughts, eliminate stress, and share how you're feeling without actually sharing how you're feeling.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Addictive Behavior Affects Everyone And Here's How To Fix It

Sometimes we don't even notice the things wrong with us


"A hyena cannot smell its own stench." Some of you have seen this Kenyan proverb before. In a nutshell, it goes a long way in explaining our faults in life.

We all want the same thing when you strip everything down. We all just want to feel good...about ourselves, what we do, what we think, believe etc. We want to get to that "aha" moment where everything is suddenly right with the world.

Whether it's a sweet job promotion, playing video games, being with your BF/GF or favorite friend, laughing at a good joke, watching a dope Netflix series, eating a great burrito, crashing into your bed after a long day, going on a massive shopping spree…everything we do is geared towards getting to that moment of total satisfaction and fulfillment in our lives. We all get to it in different ways based on our life experience and what we know how to do.

Scientifically speaking this entire process has a neurochemical and evolutionary reason. Whenever we do something that helps us survive and fulfill our biological purposes, our brain gives us a shot of dopamine, aka that good feeling, to keep us doing that thing. Makes sense right? So what happens in a somewhat advanced world where survival and basic animal needs are pretty much guaranteed? That reward mechanism doesn't just shut down. Science by far does not explain everything but it can help us understand a little piece of the puzzle.

So we're left in an interesting spot. We essentially have this game that makes us feel amazing whenever we decide to play it. So we find easy ways to play it. Why put effort into getting to that feeling if we can easily activate it with a nice binge or two? See that's where addiction comes in. We see how simple it can be to get to those fulfilling moments and get attached to the action that gives it to us.

Ever stay up way too late watching a Netflix show even if you have class or work early in the morning? Or maybe you're a tad too clingy with your BF/GF and you get obsessed and overthink little things. The problem with obvious addictive behavior is that it blatantly affects us in a negative way and we can at least recognize "hmm I probably shouldn't do this but oh well." Cue the cigarette smoke.

Why we still do it is a topic all in itself. But I want to talk about what happens when addictive behaviors aren't in-your-face obvious, and we don't even see them happening. For me personally, it was being a sarcastic prick for a great majority of my adolescence because subconsciously it felt good thinking I was clever and witty, and somehow that translated into verbally crapping on everything and putting people down. Another thing was being super compulsive and obsessing over tiny little details, sometimes totally missing the point in projects or at work, and I justified it as being "thorough" when really I just wasted a lot of time. See it's easy to be a total asshat. It's easy to avoid things and put a lot of work into superficial details so we have a cop out when someone confronts us about it. "But I worked so hard! You can't blame me."

Not to get too far off the point, what I'm trying to say is that it is extremely easy to reinforce and justify undesirable behavior and not even be consciously aware that they exist because they make us feel satisfied in some way or another. So how do we become aware of things we don't even know exist? Find mirrors to look at.

Well, not actual mirrors. Anything different that makes you step out of your mental environment and give you perspective on how you actually act. Things that have done this for me are traveling, talking to people you don't normally, or events I wouldn't really feel comfortable going to. I've also seen that new jobs, relationships, friends, and even failures achieve this as well.

Getting out of that rut in your life can make you see how much you've been effing it up subconsciously. Back to our Kenyan proverb, sometimes you have to get out of your mudhole to really smell your own stench as others do.

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