Immigration Didn't Kill Mollie Tibbets, Misogyny And Toxic Masculinity Did

Immigration Didn't Kill Mollie Tibbetts, Men Being Unable To Process Female Rejection Did

If this was strictly an immigration issue, we wouldn't see white men doing this over and over again, too.

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Men don't like to be told no.

Janise Talton-Jackson was shot dead after rejecting a man's advances at a bar.

Caroline Nosal's killer waited for her to get off her shift at work and surprised her by shooting her to death.

Lisa Trubnikova, a married lesbian woman, was killed by a man who was completely obsessed with her.

Andrea Farrington was shot 3 times in the back by a man that she was "playing."

Unfortunately, I could list more. One positive outcome of these horrific cases is they have helped open a dialogue about toxic masculinity, male-on-female crime and the inability for men to handle women's rejection.

So how come when the killer of Mollie Tibbetts, the subject of a national story about a missing college student, was found to be a man whose advances she rejected, the conversation shifted another way? That would be because the murders of the aforementioned women were all in the country legally. And Christhian Rivera was, allegedly, not.

To put it bluntly, blaming this murder on illegal immigration is absurd.

If violence against women was a problem because of illegal immigration, there wouldn't be stories like the ones above. There wouldn't be astronomically high rates of domestic violence.

Put simply, a lot of women would still be alive if American citizens weren't a problem when it comes to violence against women.

If a problem is widespread and persistent without even taking undocumented immigrants into consideration, the problem might lie outside of the realm of the perpetrator's immigration status.

In fact, there really is no association between increased crime and increased undocumented immigrants. According to Dave Mosher at Business Insider, "While tragic individual stories of murder are worthy of public attention and the victims worthy of justice, they are also single trees in a forest of data."

The bottom line is this: If Mollie Tibbetts' (and other women who have died at the hands of undocumented immigrants) killer hadn't come to the United States illegally, more than likely, she would still be alive. But that type of "if this, then that" mentality works with every killer, regardless of citizenship.

If Janise Talton-Jackson's killer hadn't gone out to the bar that night, she might still be alive.

If Caroline Nosal's killer had not gotten a job at that grocery store, she might still be alive.

If Lisa Trubkinova had never crossed paths with her obsessed killer, she might still be alive.

If Andrea Farrington's killer had chosen to work somewhere else, she might still be alive.

Every single woman who has died at the hands of an obsessed stalker, an angry partner, a random rejected stranger, an infatuated coworker, could have missed the situation altogether had something in either of their lives gone differently. Because immigrant or not, your chances of ending up on the wrong end of a terrible situation come down to chance: You were there, they were there.

If Mollie Tibbets had chosen a different college, if she had been working that night, even if she chose a different jogging path, this tragic chance encounter may not have happened.

If Christhian Rivera had lived in a different state, if he had made plans that night, and yes, if he hadn't come to the United States in the first place, this tragic chance encounter may not have happened.

But it did.

And it wasn't a result of his immigration status, it was a result of a culture where men feel entitled to women's bodies, conversations and time.

It was a result of men believing they have a right to a woman, however they please. It was a result of men being unable to handle the rejection of the women they feel entitled to.

Any man who gets so angry when a woman rejects his advances that he "blacks out" and murders her might have problems beyond being in the country without documentation.

Mollie Tibbetts' death is heartbreaking in every imaginable way. Young college students dying in the prime of their life is sad and frightening and infuriating.

But using this tragic situation, one that further demonstrates the dangerous side effects of male entitlement, to further an agenda against immigration is not only unproductive, it is harmful. There isn't an unbalanced epidemic of violence against women from undocumented immigrant men - fighting against an epidemic that simply isn't there is a colossal waste of time.

Beyond that, allowing a few select cases to mold your views (and, at the upper-political level, your policies) takes time and resources away from where they should be focused: In this case, violence against women from all races and citizenships statuses.

Not to mention, it goes to criminalize an entire group of people who, statistically, are not causing more problems than anyone here legally.

Shayanne Gal / Business Insider

Mollie Tibbetts' might still be alive if her killer didn't come here illegally. But she would also still be alive if he didn't feel entitled to her and her time. And a lot more women would be alive if the latter were true, too.

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Dear Senator Walsh, I Can't Wait For The Day That A Nurse Saves Your Life

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.

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Dear Senator Walsh,

I can't even fathom how many letters you've read like this in the past 72 hours. You've insulted one of the largest, strongest and most emotion-filled professions.. you're bound to get a lot of feedback. And as nurses, we're taught that when something makes us mad, to let that anger fuel us to make a difference and that's what we're doing.

I am not even a nurse. I'm just a nursing student. I have been around and I've seen my fair share of sore legs and clinical days where you don't even use the bathroom, but I am still not even a nurse yet. Three years in, though, and I feel as if I've given my entire life and heart to this profession. My heart absolutely breaks for the men and women who are real nurses as they had to wake up the next morning after hearing your comments, put on their scrubs and prepare for a 12-hour day (during which I promise you, they didn't play one card game).

I have spent the last three years of my life surrounded by nurses. I'm around them more than I'm around my own family, seriously. I have watched nurses pass more medications than you probably know exist. They know the side effects, dosages and complications like the back of their hand. I have watched them weep at the bedside of dying patients and cry as they deliver new lives into this world. I have watched them hang IV's, give bed baths, and spoon-feed patients who can't do it themselves. I've watched them find mistakes of doctors and literally save patient's lives. I have watched them run, and teach, and smile, and hug and care... oh boy, have I seen the compassion that exudes from every nurse that I've encountered. I've watched them during their long shifts. I've seen them forfeit their own breaks and lunches. I've seen them break and wonder what it's all for... but I've also seen them around their patients and remember why they do what they do. You know what I've never once seen them do? Play cards.

The best thing about our profession, Senator, is that we are forgiving. The internet might be blown up with pictures mocking your comments, but at the end of the day, we still would treat you with the same respect that we would give to anyone. That's what makes our profession so amazing. We would drop anything, for anyone, anytime, no matter what.

You did insult us. It does hurt to hear those comments because from the first day of nursing school we are reminded how the world has zero idea what we do every day. We get insulted and disrespected and little recognition for everything we do sometimes. But you know what? We still do it.

When it's your time, Senator, I promise that the nurse taking care of you will remember your comments. They'll remember the way they felt the day you publicly said that nurses "probably do get breaks. They probably play cards for a considerable amount of the day." The jokes will stop and it'll eventually die down, but we will still remember.

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.

Please just remember that we cannot properly take care of people if we aren't even taken care of ourselves.

I sincerely pray that someday you learn all that nurses do and please know that during our breaks, we are chugging coffee, eating some sort of lunch, and re-tying our shoes... not playing cards.

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Dear Immigrants, Don't Let Yourself Be Silenced

You deserve to be heard.

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Dear immigrants,

I write this not being from an immigrant family myself, but from a point of wanting to sympathize with you and let you know your struggles and sacrifices have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. We hear you and we commend you for your bravery.

All you want is to live a happy life in a place that provides you with the most opportunities to thrive and succeed, which your home country may not be able to do. Even if it means packing up your life and literally starting over somewhere completely foreign, you do it because you see the potential for the future for your family and children.

These choices are life-altering, and you put so much at risk by delving into the unknown. The melting pot that is the United States is quite the culture shock, made up ironically of a plethora of ethnic communities that all were immigrants once, too.

This can be comforting thinking that you are not alone in the immigrant aspect, but the process of assimilation can be completely overwhelming. You have seemed to create a happy mix of assimilation while contributing many admirable attributes of your own culture to society, which in my opinion is what makes the American culture so unique.

You have fought past the negative connotation that has been given to the word immigrant from the media, and continue to fight every day. You are an integral part of society and work so hard to chase your dreams and enrich society. The opposition and naysayers seem to be motivation, as you have successfully pursued rigorous degree plans at prestigious American universities, which is always something to be proud of. People may try to take away your strength mentally with hatred, but your education is one thing they can never take from you.

If you are reading this and you come from an immigrant family, I support you and respect you and all the hardships you may have endured. Whether it be to provide for children, siblings, or to pursue an education, remember to keep pushing past the struggles and celebrate all your victories. Although you may be thousands of miles from your family members, just imagine how proud they are of you.

If you are reading this and you do not come from an immigrant family, try to understand the immigrant community to the best of your ability, and think about everything they have been through. The United States was founded by immigrants, so it is very likely your family was in their position at one point. Take advantage of the rich worldly culture that surrounds us in our nation, you will be surprised by how much there is to learn from our international brothers and sisters.

I hope from this that one day we can all create a bright future united, for ourselves as individuals and the nation as a whole that we share.

Sincerely,

Carly Baysinger

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