We all have that one friend who is kind of a skank, but that doesn't mean that we love them any less. However, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where things have gone awry and we aren't quite sure how to care for them. Here is a list of tips on keeping your skank safe and healthy.
Provide Proper Shelter
Keep them indoors! If your skank gets out it might be difficult to get them back inside, and once they are loose you run into the possibility of a stranger taking your skank home and saying, "This is my skank, goodbye". The safest place for a skank is on a couch with at least two friends watching them. Wrap your skank in a blanket (a skanklet) to keep them warm. This technique is helpful if they try to run away because it gives you more to grab onto to catch them.
All of this being said, skanks can with stand most environments, but the most important part is keeping an eye on your skank. People tend to get excited when they see a skank in public, and it is easy for them to be picked up and lost. Some effective methods of keeping tabs on your skank include, but are not limited to, matching t-shirts, holding hands, or chaining your ankles together prison style.
Feeding your skank
Keep. Your. Skank. Hydrated.
Water is essential for fully cognitive thinking, and this is something that skanks have trouble maintaining on their own. It is also common for skanks to have weak stomachs and to vomit on sidewalks or in club bathrooms. One way to be ahead of the curb is to carry a sleeve of saltine crackers with you. These crackers are easy to insert--simply slide them into the mouth of a skank like a CD and move their jaw up and down to initiate chewing. They will want to speak while eating, but this is something you will want to avoid in order to keep wet cracker in their mouth and off of your face.
Skanks can eat other foods, but it is always good to make sure that they don't eat too fast. A popular method of skank health is to feed them something greasy right before bed. Taco Bell, Steak-and-Shake, and McDonalds are all popular skank sleep aids. These foods aid in digestion, and they are salty and will coax your skank into drinking the water that they so desperately need.
Socializing your skank
It's a very well known fact that skanks love to party, and partying with your skank can be a blast! A party, bar, or club is a skank's natural habitat and they thrive there. Don't try and change your skank into a bookworm (more information on those in a different article), but instead take your skank out with the intention of showing them a good time. As the proud friend of a skank, your role is to accept their skankiness and simply focus on helping them be safe and smart. Your skank will want to talk to strangers, dance on strangers, and then go home and touch the strangers. The most you can do is take your skank out regularly to meet people and dance, but always make sure that you bring home the same skank you left with.
Being friends with a skank can be hard, but the companionship and memories that come with a skank are well worth the trouble. Everyone has a skank in their life, and the world would be lost without them.
