1. There's a system to seating.

As much as you might love that one booth in the back near the window, I might have just sat someone in that section and now I have seat you in the next section. If I seat too many people in one section then that section's waiter won't be able to get drinks, take orders, or delivery your food as quickly as you'd like. It will probably take them an extra five or ten minutes to get to you, and nobody wants that.

2. Just because there are open tables doesn't mean you can sit anywhere you want.

Like I said before, there's a system. And that system means that waiters come in at different times. After my first waiter comes in, the next one doesn't come in for another 30 minutes, and the next another 15 minutes. So even if there's a nice open table, that doesn't mean I have a waiter to cover it. And no waiter = no service. So feel free to take that table but just know that no ones going to be serving you for a good 30 minutes.

3. Nobody likes to use the waiting list.

As much as a customer hates waiting, the hostess hates it more. A waiting list means managers are stopping by more frequently to see what the hold up is, meaning more pressure put on the hostess. And the longer the wait, the more pressure. And we're obligated to stick to the waiting time we gave you.

So if I say 30 minutes is your wait time, in 30 minutes I have to have a table for you. Which is easier said than done, because I have no idea how long the person currently eating is going to take. They could spend an extra 20 minutes to talk at their table then I thought they would. Which leads me to my next point...

4. Please don't unnecessarily sit and hang out at your table.

If you can clearly see that there is a bunch of people waiting to be sat, don't be an a-hole and just sit at your table for way longer than what's polite. I'm not saying you can't sit and talk with your friends or family, just if you've already paid the bill and now you decide you want to talk some more, maybe just don't do it at your table. I guarantee you the restaurant has some lovely benches outside.

5. Don't start listing off the drinks you want.

I am not your server. My job is to look at the seating rotation, look at our available tables, and seat you accordingly. Once you're at your table, you're the waiters' responsibility. I was not trained to know where to get you the peach passion lemonade. At most I can get you a glass of water, but even that is pushing it. I'm a hostess, let me stick to what I'm good at. Thank you.

6. Don't be rude to me. I can make your experience hell.

As mad as you may be that you weren't seated at the table you like or the wait time was longer than you hoped, don't let it out on me. It's my job to seat you, so I can find the nastiest, most cold, and loudest section of the restaurant to seat you. And while I'm at it, I'll let your waiter know you were rude and that they can take their sweet time getting around to order your food... Oh yeah, two can play at this game.

7. Say "Hello" or "Good-bye" when you see me.

I remember people and I remember when you blew me off and just demanded a table or stormed out the restaurant after your meal. It won't kill you to acknowledge my existence and it might make me more inclined to be nicer to you when I plan out where I'm going to seat you.

8. I profile everyone that walks through the doors, but not in the way that you think.

I know that certain groups of people actually care where they're seated, tip well, and will come back again based off their service. A group of teenagers are not on my top priority, no offense. But I just know that you won't tip as much as the elderly couple with the cane/walker or the family of four with the little kid who's crying and complaining about being hungry. If I give that couple or family a better seat or that booth they really wanted, I know they're going to tip their waiter more and be more likely to come back again. While that group of teenagers could easily be sat at the table in the back and they won't mind as long as the food is good.

9. Don't ask to be sat at a four person booth if it's just you.

Four tops (four person tables) are valuable real estate! So many people want four tops, especially four top booths. So unless it's completely dead in the restaurant and you know that know one is going to come in and want that booth, then please just sit at a two top or even better, go to the bar!

With all that being said, just help your hostess out any way you can. Please and thank you.

Like seriously, before I pull all my hair out.