To The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

To The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your picket fence and I'll raise my protest sign.
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You can raise your picket fence, but that won't stop me from raising my protest sign.

I don't think you fully understand what your social media feeds are constantly filled with. The protests, the quotes, the "mobs" of women protesting, they aren't doing this because women should no longer be mothers or homemakers.

We are not doing this because we feel self-righteous or that we want the attention. We need the attention because our fight isn't over.

I'm glad that you know so many females with leadership roles and so many girls in a male-dominated field. But does that mean our fight is over?

No, not at all.

Don't get me wrong, we have made strides in the past few years, but we are definitely far from being equal. Just because we have begun to make cracks in that very thick glass ceiling does not mean the fight is over. I am glad that you recognize the struggles that have taken place, but the progress is far from where we'd like it to be. The gender gap still does exist, I promise you.

"Please stop."

Because it is insulting the women out there fighting for equality for not only women, but also, minorities, the LGBTQ+ community, and all others who are not the predominant majority in the world today.

I know you say that new roles today force you to be shamed for being a homemaker, but that's where I think you aren't seeing the big picture.

I understand the fact that you think not taking some powerful position in an office seems like taking the backseat and being shamed for not helping out the women in today's society; but, women today are still put in the gender-role of child bearers and nurturers.

I have a problem with that. I want a successful career. I have wanted to be a successful woman for as long as I can remember.

Shattering that glass ceiling is something I look forward to, but since entering college I have become stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Why?"

Because when I think about it, getting married and having children falls in the "backseat" in my mind. People ask "Oh, have you found a boy at college, yet?" Or, "How many kids do you think you'd like to have?"

And I freeze. I can tell them how I'd love to study abroad or get an internship with a professional sports team in their marketing division, but I don't really know how many, let alone if, I want to have kids.

You see, at least right now, being a homemaker or having a family doesn't have a top priority to me. But, that doesn't mean you can't have that as your top priority.

I will have no problem working long hours, researching and battling it out with the "big boys."

Still today that will be a hard-earned place to get to for a woman, I am willing to work for it. This doesn't make me any less feminine, or nurturing, or caring, or kind.

But, when people realize I am not necessarily focused on finding a life partner, or figuring out what the names of my future kids will be, I am stereotyped as being a cold, ruthless woman who doesn't play well with others.

However, I am not. In no way does this define who I am. This also doesn't set in stone that I will never get married and never have kids. And coming from me, if you have the patience and power to raise multiple kids and run your household, all the power to ya girl. I don't think I could do that. I grew up with an amazing stay-at-home mother, but the whole idea just doesn't appeal to me. I totally understand the mindset, because being a homemaker was exactly what my mother wanted to be.

Being a homemaker does not make her weak and frail; she is one of the strongest women I know, and can definitely get shit done. The best part of feminism is that it gives you the power to do both, it is just that being a powerful woman in a workplace carries a lot more stigma than being a homemaker.

So let me look forward to my business blouse, afternoon meetings, and spreadsheets.

I'll support you in your endeavors through supporting the PTA and helping out the local community schools. Just like you said, "It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power."

Cover Image Credit: Nagel Photography

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

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