To The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

To The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your picket fence and I'll raise my protest sign.

You can raise your picket fence, but that won't stop me from raising my protest sign.

I don't think you fully understand what your social media feeds are constantly filled with. The protests, the quotes, the "mobs" of women protesting, they aren't doing this because women should no longer be mothers or homemakers.

We are not doing this because we feel self-righteous or that we want the attention. We need the attention because our fight isn't over.

I'm glad that you know so many females with leadership roles and so many girls in a male-dominated field. But does that mean our fight is over?

No, not at all.

Don't get me wrong, we have made strides in the past few years, but we are definitely far from being equal. Just because we have begun to make cracks in that very thick glass ceiling does not mean the fight is over. I am glad that you recognize the struggles that have taken place, but the progress is far from where we'd like it to be. The gender gap still does exist, I promise you.

"Please stop."

Because it is insulting the women out there fighting for equality for not only women, but also, minorities, the LGBTQ+ community, and all others who are not the predominant majority in the world today.

I know you say that new roles today force you to be shamed for being a homemaker, but that's where I think you aren't seeing the big picture.

I understand the fact that you think not taking some powerful position in an office seems like taking the backseat and being shamed for not helping out the women in today's society; but, women today are still put in the gender-role of child bearers and nurturers.

I have a problem with that. I want a successful career. I have wanted to be a successful woman for as long as I can remember.

Shattering that glass ceiling is something I look forward to, but since entering college I have become stuck between a rock and a hard place.


Because when I think about it, getting married and having children falls in the "backseat" in my mind. People ask "Oh, have you found a boy at college, yet?" Or, "How many kids do you think you'd like to have?"

And I freeze. I can tell them how I'd love to study abroad or get an internship with a professional sports team in their marketing division, but I don't really know how many, let alone if, I want to have kids.

You see, at least right now, being a homemaker or having a family doesn't have a top priority to me. But, that doesn't mean you can't have that as your top priority.

I will have no problem working long hours, researching and battling it out with the "big boys."

Still today that will be a hard-earned place to get to for a woman, I am willing to work for it. This doesn't make me any less feminine, or nurturing, or caring, or kind.

But, when people realize I am not necessarily focused on finding a life partner, or figuring out what the names of my future kids will be, I am stereotyped as being a cold, ruthless woman who doesn't play well with others.

However, I am not. In no way does this define who I am. This also doesn't set in stone that I will never get married and never have kids. And coming from me, if you have the patience and power to raise multiple kids and run your household, all the power to ya girl. I don't think I could do that. I grew up with an amazing stay-at-home mother, but the whole idea just doesn't appeal to me. I totally understand the mindset, because being a homemaker was exactly what my mother wanted to be.

Being a homemaker does not make her weak and frail; she is one of the strongest women I know, and can definitely get shit done. The best part of feminism is that it gives you the power to do both, it is just that being a powerful woman in a workplace carries a lot more stigma than being a homemaker.

So let me look forward to my business blouse, afternoon meetings, and spreadsheets.

I'll support you in your endeavors through supporting the PTA and helping out the local community schools. Just like you said, "It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power."

Cover Image Credit: Nagel Photography

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Success Is Great, But Failure Is Better

Fail and fail often.

Don’t let success get to your head, but don’t let failure get to your heart. Know that things don’t always work out as planned, and that is OK!

For many millennials, it’s easiest to just give up when something doesn’t go your way. But take heart. Success is great, but failure is better. The reality is, you’re going to fail... a lot.

Failure does not mean your idea was not good or that your dream isn’t valid.

Failure means you have more to learn.

Failure is GOOD.

It shows you that you did something wrong and that you need to take a redirection. It’s an opportunity to come back stronger with a better attack plan. It’s a second chance.

Having failed many times in my life, there’s one thing for sure: failing sucks. It sucks being disappointed. It sucks not succeeding on the first try. However, you can learn to become a good failure.

Failing is inevitable, which is why it is important to learn from our mistakes. You’ll learn more from a single failure than a lifetime of success. Here’s what you can do when you mess up: accept what you can’t change, keep an open mind, maintain a positive attitude, and know that nothing will be perfect.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was on an engineering team at my school. I was extremely confident in our abilities as a team, so when we didn’t advance to the world finals, I was devastated. The next year, however, my team placed second at the national competition, and we advanced to the world finals. If I had allowed that initial failure to consume me, I wouldn’t have been successful the next year.

It was not easy to advance to the world finals, but because I took my previous failure as a learning opportunity, my team succeeded. I knew I couldn’t change the past, so I didn’t focus on it. I kept an open mind about the competition and did not allow my bitterness to harden me, thus maintaining a positive attitude. My team wasn’t perfect, and I knew that. But I knew if we worked hard, we would succeed. We did.

Every failure is feedback on how to improve. Nothing works unless you do, and nothing works exactly the way you want it to. Failure is life’s greatest teacher; it’s nothing to be scared of. If we are so focused on not failing, we will never succeed.

So fail, and fail often.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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7 Things English Majors Go Through

Yes, I'm an English major. No, I'm not throwing away my education.

I love being an English major.

And no -- I'm not lying.

While I do advocate for womxn in tech and the rise of STEM majors, my heart belongs to the humanities and more importantly: English Literature.

Here are some of the things as an English Major that I have experienced:

1. So... Do you wanna be a teacher?

As an English Major, my sole purpose of getting my degree is not to just become a teacher. I also want to be a writer. Get it right. I also want to be a teacher, though, so...

2. Writer's Block

Writer's block = hell unleashed. My brain is my most valued. My heart, too, but my brain is what helps me actually write my essays and poems. When my brain isn't working, I'm not working, and with those two not working -- I'm not getting anything done.

3. Having Friends Ask You To Edit Their Papers

My mood 24/7 when people ask me to edit their papers. I'm working on my own, leave me alone. Seriously though, I know I'm an English major, but there's a reason why office hours were created -- but if you REALLY need my editing/revising, pay up.

4. Reading "Whatever" Literature

There are some great works that I love reading (Frankenstein, Great Expectations, Dr. J & Mr. H, etc). But if I'm forced to read another book that EVERYONE has "read" and ends with the classic patriarchal ending -- I'd rather not. Give me some more Mary Shelley, please.

5. Reading AMAZING Literature

OK BUT WHEN THE CLASS READS SOMETHING LIKE MRS. DALLOWAY -- I AM SO HAPPY (I love you, V.W). But, honestly, I love most literature (especially classics). It's only with very few works that I'm upset with reading. (50 Shades of Grey? Blegh.)

6. Getting Trash-Talked About Your Major

OkAy, SuSaN, I get that you're happy with being in the business school, but frankly I don't care, so don't worry about me or my major. We, English majors, get trash-talked about our majors. Back in the day, our major was considered noble and great -- and now it's considered as "throwing away our education".

7. Knowing that We Chose the Right Major

In my experience in college so far, I've met very few -- actually no one who has changed their major from English Lit/CRTWRT. (Disclaimer: I'm sure there are some?) But those of us who stayed with this major know that we chose the right path for ourselves. While our friends in STEM, Business, etc. are "having fun" with their path, we get to read our favorite works, write, and appreciate the arts. So... who's the real winner? ;)

Cover Image Credit: Study Breaks

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