Friendship Is Not Manipulation
Start writing a post

Most people I know will read the title of this article and think, "Duh. Who doesn't know that?"

I know if someone shoved this article in my face two years ago, I would have thought the same thing. Of course love and manipulation are two totally different things. How could anyone mistake one for the other? And how could anyone not know they were mixing them up?

Oddly enough, I mixed them up far more than I'd like to admit. I mixed them up when I had no idea I was mixing them up.

I met a guy during my junior year of high school who I firmly believed was the perfect, most flawless friend. All he seemed to want to do was talk to me on the phone for hours, spend quality time with me, and listen to what I had to say. While our relationship was never romantic, it was definitely intense. At the time, I misinterpreted intensity for depth. I thought we had an impenetrable emotional connection, even when my mother repeatedly told me I was crazy for caring so much about him.

In hindsight, I realize that my friend didn't want me to be totally happy and content. While we had a lot of good times, I can also recall a million occasions where we fought and I cried my eyes out over the things we said to each other. Eventually, it mostly just seemed like he wanted to pull me down into the hole he was in. Once again, I misinterpreted this as a sign of our closeness. I jumped into a hole without looking down, and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, especially when he turned around and shook me off for another girl. I wish I could say that was the final straw, but I still needed to discover myself a little more to figure everything out.

Near the end of what I deemed as our "close" friendship, he found himself in a tough situation; a situation that was entirely his fault. He had the nerve to abandon me for some other girl, but in his hour of need, he fully expected me to welcome him back with open arms. That was the final push I needed in order to realize that what we had was not friendship. Our situation consisted of me foolishly giving someone my all and mistaking his manipulation for true friendship.

The last time I saw him was over the summer, and hanging out wasn't terrible. I was just surprised to find that the spark I had imagined with him had totally flickered out. When I looked at him, I didn't feel any strong emotion at all. I didn't feel happy, sad, angry, or anything. The only thing I know for sure about detaching from him is that time really does heal all wounds. I once considered our friendship to be the most important one in my life, and now it's just a distant memory.

Blind optimism can be fun, but it can also never last too long. Be careful before you give anyone everything you have to offer. Sometimes the lines between what you want someone's intentions to be and what someone else's intentions are can get blurry.

Like I said earlier, of course friendship and manipulation are different things. Don't let anyone try to fool you into mixing them up.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Freshly popped buttered popcorn in your lap and a glass full of crisp Coca-Cola is at your side. All the lights are turned off and you are tucked into a cozy blanket. You have the whole day off and no responsibilities besides refilling your popcorn bucket. Now all you have to do is decide on what movie to watch, but you know one movie will not fulfill your need of relaxing all day. A movie marathon is the only answer to your problem. In case you did not know what movie series to start with, try a few of these.

Keep Reading... Show less
A Touch Of Teal

It's the oldest story in the world: one day a new tv show comes on and you fall in love with each character and their story. In 2003, the show "One Tree Hill" was born and stole the hearts of fans of many ages. Torn between the sweet, underdog Lucas and tough, popular boy Nathan, people became hooked through the family and relationship drama the characters went through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

12 Starbucks Iced Drinks You NEED In Your Life

Must-try beverages brought to you by your local barista.


Be kind to your baristas, they can make you some pretty great drinks. With the temperature rising and the days getting longer, it's approaching the time to find your summer staple to keep you cool (and caffeinated) over the next few months.

Keep Reading... Show less

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is coming to an end after 20 seasons of intense drama, family bonding, and Scott Disick. It's sad for some and a relief for others who find the show way overhyped.

Keep Reading... Show less

Starbucks is known for its infamous coffee and espresso drinks, but they're definitely isn't enough love shown for the non-coffee drinks. Being a barista myself, I've come to try all of the following drinks. And let me tell you…they're amazing. So if you aren't a huge fan of coffee or if you're just sick of the same old same old, here are some new drinks to keep your inner white girl alive and thriving.

SEE MORE: Starbucks Has Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Cold Brew And OMG It Has Pink Foam

Keep Reading... Show less

What was usually buried at the bottom of my purse has now become a pocket essential — and I know I'm not alone in that.

It used to be something I'd use if I happened to be at a restaurant that ran out of soap in their bathroom, but now it's almost more essential to have on-hand at all times than my cell phone.

Keep Reading... Show less

The decision-makers of Yale's law students have invested in therapy dog sessions in order to reduce stress. In 2011, Yale Law Library had a sign-out sheet for their certified library dog. The 30-minute sessions were equipped with unconditional, stress-busting puppy love.

Law Librarian Blair Kauffman stated that the free, three-day pilot pet therapy program at Yale Law Library launched as "a positive addition to current services offered by the library."

Keep Reading... Show less

I have been working at Dunkin' Donuts for over two years, and during this time, I have progressed from regular crew member to crew coach, and finally, to shift leader. Among my great skills involving the job is my ability to deal with stressful situations, including awful customers. My boss has continuously pointed out the fact that I am able to handle these people with grace and kindness. She herself often finds that she gets snippy with rude customers, but somehow I am able to keep a straight face through these tough times.

Keep Reading... Show less

Let's be real here — sometimes essential oils and acknowledging all five senses (touch, see, hear, smell, taste) just don't cut it when you need to cope. It's those days when you have so much rage that you don't even know what to do with yourself, or those days when you physically cannot stop crying because of the most suffocating sadness, or all those other days when you are craving healthy coping mechanisms that actually work.

But before I let you in, we need to continue being real. I hope you are comforted with the knowledge that before I uncovered (or, even wanted to uncover) healthy mechanisms, I also went through my drought of horrible coping mechanisms. I have, and sometimes continue, to fall short of genuinely trying to help myself. It takes a lot of courage, and energy, to genuinely try and help yourself.

Keep Reading... Show less

3 Couples From 'The Vampire Diaries' Who Deserved A Happy Ending More Than Damon And Elena

Unfortunately, not every couple got their happy endings on "The Vampire Diaries."


If you are just now tuning into "The Vampire Diaries," then beware of spoilers.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments