I'm from Alabama and grew up in the most redneck and most made fun of state, right? I thought so too; however, Florida is way wilder and just sets themselves up for memes and jokes. In Alabama, the jokes and stereotypes range from marrying your sister or cousin, playing in the mud, and just being very bright. In Florida, the jokes are so wild that there really isn't much of a range to put them in. As a new resident of Florida, I have moved from one terrible state to another.
Let's think about Florida for a second, What comes to mind? Retirement communities, beaches, alligators, wild spring breaks, summer vacations. These are all correct, but the craziest people out there all live in Florida and here's a list of the wildest Florida Man headlines:
Have fun reading through "Florida Man" headlines — but don't become one.
1. Florida Man Removes Facial Tattoos With Welding Grinder
2. Florida Man Proposes to Girlfriend, Ties Ring To Alligator
3. Florida Man Launches Chair at Mailman Because He Had No Mail For Him
4. Florida Man Calls 911 To Complain About Police Officer's Slow Ticket Writing Skills
5. Florida Man On Drugs Kills Imaginary Friend & Turns Himself In
6. Florida Man Tries to Pawn Stolen Jewelry at Store Managed by Woman Whose Home He Just Robbed
7. Florida Man Rescued From Vending Machine
8. Florida Man Attack's ATM With Hatchet After it Refuses to Take His Check
9. Florida Man Dies In Meth-Lab Explosion After Lighting Farts on Fire
10. Florida Man Escapes Prison to Buy Beer, No One Notices
11.Florida Man Accidentally Butt-Dails 911 While Cooking Meth With His Mom
12. Florida Man Steals 36,000 Pounds of Crisco
13. Randy Zipperer Allegedly Stabs Brother After Macaroni and Cheese Goes Missing
14. Accused Florida Man Says His Cat Downloaded Child Porn, Not Him.
15. Florida Man Caught With "Active" Meth Lab In Pants
16. Tar Smeared Florida Man Arrested on Convenience Store Roof at 3 a.m.
17. Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell
18. Florida Man Really, Really Wants to Force Jury to Watch His Sex Tape
19. Florida Man Bites Off Neighbor's Ear Because He Wouldn't Give Him a Cigarette
20. Florida Man Claims Wife Was Kidnapped By Holograms
21.Florida Man Dials 911 and Demands a Ride Home 'To change his underwear'
22. Florida Man Calls 911 to Check on His Tax Return
23. Florida Man, Once Arrested For Fighting Drag Queen With A Tiki Torch While Dressed Like KKK Member, Now Running For Mayor
24. Florida Man Robs Gas Station, Leaves Behind Job Application With Identifying Information Behind
25. Florida Man Arrested For Calling 911 After His Cat Was Denied Entry To Strip Club
26. Florida Man Tries To Avoid Court Appearance By Claiming He Has Ebola
27. Florida Man High on Flakka Tries to Break Into Jail 'to visit friends'
28. Florida Man Tattoos Black Widow on His Face to Combat Arachnophobia
29. Florida Man Calls 911 Eighty Times To Demand Kool-Aid, Hamburgers, and Weed
30. Florida Man Attempts to Smoke Crack in ICU, Almost Burns Down Hospital
31.Florida Man Strips Naked After Claiming To Be A Monkey Outside 7-Eleven
32. Florida Man Calls 911 Over Missing Beer So Many Times He Gets Arrested
33. Hardware Store Discards 15-Feet of Carpet After Florida Man Rolls Himself Up In It and Pees
34. Florida Man Butt Dials 911; His Murder Plot Gets Accidentally Recorded
35. Florida Man Charged With DUI in His Motorized Wheelchair
36. Florida Man Resists Arrest While Dressed as a Boy Scout
There are so many more headlines like these that you can find of Florida People. Key points that must be made for Florida People is to lay off the beer, meth, and flakka.
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