21 Excuses To Avoid Drinking In College
Start writing a post

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College
@oldrow Instagram

*Disclaimer: it is okay to drink; it is okay to not drink*

Hi, I'm Riley and I don't drink at this point in my life. Not only that, but I'm in college! The pinnacle of ~fun alcohol time~, right?

I know what you're thinking: my college experience is a sad, dreary snooze-fest. Woe is me! However, my time in a university has been (and continues to be) a happy, delightful adventure.

Sober, I am doing all the activities that students who drink do. This includes the seemingly intimidating parties, dinners, etc. where folks engage in communal drinking. Here, I understand that turning down drinks is difficult! You know, the whole psychology of peer pressure, yada yada. But, staying sober is completely possible with the help of some handy-dandy excuses.

Obviously, "because I don't feel like it" is a perfectly legitimate reason, but there will always be pushy people who cannot take "nope" for an answer. So, here are some lighthearted ways to turn down the offer.

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?” 


2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!” 


(And every night, but they do not have to know that.)

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”


4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!” 


(It helps if you trip over as you say this one. Really sell it.)

5.  “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”


6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”


7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).” 


(This wine costs over one hundred grand.)

8.  “I ought to help my pal get home safe.” 


9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.” 


10.  “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”


11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”


12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”


13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”


14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”


15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.” 


16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”


17. “Hey! Look over there!” 


(Run away.)

18. “I’m pregnant.”


(This is a great excuse, especially if you can have a food baby during the event.)

19. Just scream until they walk away. 


20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?” 


21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.” 


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments