I recently came to the realization that I have been practicing the nasty habit of only praying when it's convenient. When something is going wrong, when someone is sick, when I need something I find myself bowing my head to pray. I never thought that I would find myself in this situation in my life where I was putting God second to everything else; praying only when I needed something from Him.
I grew up in church; my family attended church every Sunday (morning and evening) and Wednesday nights. We participated in Christmas and Easter productions. We prayed at every meal. My dad was a youth leader. Our favorite song was "Showers of Blessings" and our library is filled with Bible stories.
As we grew older and high school homework and activities took over our lives, church was put on the back burner and eventually my faith was too. I no longer read my bible or wrote in my journal. I no longer attended youth class and I avoided my youth pastor at school at all costs. I didn't want to talk about why I was never at church or what was going in my life.
It continued when I attended college at Iowa State University. Sure, when I applied to Iowa State I checked the small, square box declaring my denomination. I received weekly emails from my church urging me to attend their services and events. I vaguely remember bowing my head to pray once or twice (but again, it was in desperation of my wants); and I attended church twice, but different churches separate from my denomination. I had so many opportunities to find my faith again in college, but again sat idly by until I started needing Him again.
I have never denied Him. I have never worshipped anyone, but Him. I have never put other Gods before Him. But, I have unintentionally shoved Him to the back burner moving him forward only when I needed Him most.
From now on, I won't just pray when it's convenient for me, but I will seek God with all of my heart.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." —Hebrews 11:6
