Who's Your Daddy?
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Who's Your Daddy?

Nine moments in musical theater that DNA testing would've come in handy.

Who's Your Daddy?
Edited by Tori Combs

Musicals are a fun way to forget about life for a while, but sometimes they leave you a bit flustered. If you're anything like me, you've sat and watched a show or two and said to yourself "Oh the irony," or maybe, "This is a disaster!" Many of the people in musicals could've benefited from modern science such as DNA testing. Here are nine moments where DNA testing would've been extremely helpful. Spoilers.

1. Mamma Mia!

We all know and love the musical Mamma Mia! which is composed entirely out of songs by the hit band ABBA. In the show, twenty-year-old Sophie is getting married and wants nothing more than her father to walk her down the aisle, but there's one problem: she and her mother don't know who her dad is. This takes place in the 1980s, meaning that paternity tests were around, and had been pretty accurate since Sophie was conceived. The biggest question is, why hadn't her mother found this out sooner? It would've saved money on postage and prevented three past exes from meeting under circumstances that didn't paint her in the best of light. Plus, it seems a bit inconvenient to have three men walking you down the aisle of a church...

2. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd is a story of revenge. When returning back to London after being wrongfully banished, the barber embarks on a journey to get back at the men who sent him away and stole his wife. With him is a young sailor who has become a friend, and later falls in love with Todd's daughter. It would've been nice to know who she was and all considering he commits a felony to get to her.

3. Phantom of the Opera

This one is pretty simple. Throughout the show the principle character Christine Daae refers to the Phantom as an "Angel of Music," "Friend," and even at one point her father. Christine, your father is dead and this man is trying to kidnap you. Stockholm syndrome is not cool.

4. Spring Awakening

Ah, the musical about promiscuous German teenagers in the 1800s! When would a DNA test not come in handy here? One moment in particular was when Wendla got pregnant and would not tell anyone who the father was.

5. Into The Woods

In "Into The Woods" we learn that the Baker's family has been cursed by the Witch who lives next door and that as an additional price for his father's stealing from the Witch, his sister has been taken captive. The Witch raised Rapunzel as her own daughter. If only that poor girl knew. If only she knew...

6. Wicked

In the untold story of the Wicked Witch of the West we learn the untold story of her conception and why her skin is green. Is it really just a big coincidence that she looks like the Emerald City gave birth to her? What really surprises me is that it took the Wizard so long to figure out that he was her father. Maybe if they had used a bit science instead of their magic then they would've known.

7. Annie

Well, this one is pretty simple. Annie never knew who her birth parents were.

8. Hamilton: An American Musical

With Alexander off at war, are we 100% sure that Eliza is telling the truth?

9. Shrek: The Musical

Is this guy actually related to one of the Seven Dwarfs? I mean, Farquad has Grumpy's temper and all, but has zero respect for himself, zero work ethic, and zero sense of style. Maybe he and his father should sit down and talk about how he was most likely adopted.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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