Dependence Is Not Love
Start writing a post

Dependence Is Not Love

The difference between needing someone and wanting them.

Dependence Is Not Love

There is a great difference between being in love with someone and being dependent on them. Love should never evolve to dependence. Maybe I am just a very independent person who would only want to be with someone who is equally independent, but I think no healthy relationship should revolve around dependence. People should be together because they want to be, not because they feel as though they have to be.

Your significant other should be able to take care of themselves. It's great if you want to cook every meal for your partner, but they should be able to do it as well. Making someone breakfast because they are either incapable or too lazy is not doing it out of love. When you choose to do something nice for your significant other even though you know they can do it perfectly fine on their own, you show them that even though they don't need you, you will be there for them.

A romantic relationship should never resemble a parental relationship. Your partner should not rely on you. If you cannot imagine how your partner would survive without you, that isn't healthy. Depending on someone is not the same as loving them. There needs to be an understanding that although you don't need each other, you want to be together. The healthiest relationships involve two individuals who each have their own separate life, and a life their share together. Having two different lives and not lives that revolve around each other, leaves mystery and interest in a relationship. Being independent will keep romance alive.

Your happiness should not depend on just one person. You should be able to find your own happiness without your significant other. If you feel lost without them, you need to reevaluate your situation. There is no guarantee of what will happen tomorrow. It is so important that both members of the relationship will be okay without the other. Yes, of course you should be passionately in love and want to be in each other's lives, but you should be able to handle losing them. Taking care of and loving yourself should always be the priority. You should strive for independence and want to be a strong enough person to not need anyone else. You also need to make sure you love yourself and can find peace and happiness on your own.

The best kind of love stems from the desire to be with someone that you don't need. That is what makes a romantic relationship unique. Your significant other should want you in their life despite the fact that they would be perfectly fine on their own. The overplayed romance novel ideal that you can't live without the person you love is ridiculous. Love is most powerful when it results from two people mature enough to base their relationship off of love and desire, not dependence and need. A relationship based on dependence will not only wind up being boring but it will become tedious. A successful relationship is shared by two people who choose to overlap their individual lives out of the sole desire to be together.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments