Dependence Is Not Love
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Dependence Is Not Love

The difference between needing someone and wanting them.

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Dependence Is Not Love

There is a great difference between being in love with someone and being dependent on them. Love should never evolve to dependence. Maybe I am just a very independent person who would only want to be with someone who is equally independent, but I think no healthy relationship should revolve around dependence. People should be together because they want to be, not because they feel as though they have to be.

Your significant other should be able to take care of themselves. It's great if you want to cook every meal for your partner, but they should be able to do it as well. Making someone breakfast because they are either incapable or too lazy is not doing it out of love. When you choose to do something nice for your significant other even though you know they can do it perfectly fine on their own, you show them that even though they don't need you, you will be there for them.


A romantic relationship should never resemble a parental relationship. Your partner should not rely on you. If you cannot imagine how your partner would survive without you, that isn't healthy. Depending on someone is not the same as loving them. There needs to be an understanding that although you don't need each other, you want to be together. The healthiest relationships involve two individuals who each have their own separate life, and a life their share together. Having two different lives and not lives that revolve around each other, leaves mystery and interest in a relationship. Being independent will keep romance alive.

Your happiness should not depend on just one person. You should be able to find your own happiness without your significant other. If you feel lost without them, you need to reevaluate your situation. There is no guarantee of what will happen tomorrow. It is so important that both members of the relationship will be okay without the other. Yes, of course you should be passionately in love and want to be in each other's lives, but you should be able to handle losing them. Taking care of and loving yourself should always be the priority. You should strive for independence and want to be a strong enough person to not need anyone else. You also need to make sure you love yourself and can find peace and happiness on your own.

The best kind of love stems from the desire to be with someone that you don't need. That is what makes a romantic relationship unique. Your significant other should want you in their life despite the fact that they would be perfectly fine on their own. The overplayed romance novel ideal that you can't live without the person you love is ridiculous. Love is most powerful when it results from two people mature enough to base their relationship off of love and desire, not dependence and need. A relationship based on dependence will not only wind up being boring but it will become tedious. A successful relationship is shared by two people who choose to overlap their individual lives out of the sole desire to be together.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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