How To Control Your Own Life
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

How To Control Your Own Life

It is both easier and harder than you think.

How To Control Your Own Life

Do you ever feel that people in your life are constantly telling you what you should and shouldn't do?

Do you ever feel that make snap judgments based on their life experience?

Are you tired of keeping your mouth shut when people ask you things like, Why are you still single? What are you plans after graduation? Do you have any plans at all? Are you just going to buy cats and call it quits by 25?

Same old. Same old.

I spent many hours trying to figure out how to get control of my own life. After all, nothing is written in stone, right? But how does one go about freeing themselves from these expectations and start creating their own? It's not an easy process, or at least that is what you will tell yourself.

Change is never easy, but that is why we do it. That's why we make new choices and try and better ourselves. Life wasn't meant to spent living in the same way forever. Honestly that would dreadfully boring. Life was meant to be an experience.

Yet, trying to have control over yours is insanely complicated. No matter how much you love your family and friends, sometimes they won't understand. Or sometimes they try to cast their hopes and dreams on you. So how does one go about telling them you don't want what they want, and to do it in a way that doesn't diminish what they want out of life?

You need to stop being worried about what other people think of your choices, emotions, and thoughts. If you are constantly censoring yourself, you become a hollow version of who you were meant to be. That is a cruel way to treat yourself. It's not fair. Instead, you need to stand up for yourself and your thoughts.

You don't have to be mean to others. Just because they want a kind of life, doesn't mean they are wrong. Wanting something different doesn't make you wrong either. You are both 100 percent correct in your own life.

About a year ago, I had some people get mad at me when I said that being single was not about the lack of a relationship, but instead the abundance of oneself. At first, one of them said that she was tired of people diminishing other people relationships and praising only single people. To which we had a conversation and it was explained that we both are right in our lives. Her relationship was good, and my absence of one was also good.

But the other person made me think critically about what I want from life. She came out of nowhere telling me I was such a liar for saying what I said, because it was obvious I really wanted a relationship, and it was irritating to her.

I will never understand that day, or the need to be mean to someone you don't know. Then, and still now (not to mention the last four, almost five years of my life) have found my self not in want of a man. There is the conception that I am lying to everyone and myself. So this is what I have done.

I am confident in my choices, I make them for me, and only me.

I follow my gut in all matters. If it feels wrong then I don't do it. Simple.

I listen to others that are important to me, but make the decision myself in the end.

I love myself first, and treat myself kindly.

I wear what makes me confident regardless of trends.

I try to smile and laugh, even if other people think I'm being weird.

You already have control over your life. That is the secret. You have the power.

You just have to make the choice to use it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments