Imagine you had a friend who came home last night and told you she/he/they had been at a party. (Now, I hate to make this example limited to a friend because really this scenario should be important to you even if this person wasn’t your friend because the fact that this might happen to SOMEONE is what’s key here, but anyway, read on.)

So this friend goes on to explain that while she/he/they was at this party, a guy repeatedly attempted to dissuade her/him/them from leaving using power plays and manipulation and eventually drugs. What would you do next? You would of course make sure your friend was physically alright, was aware of her/his/their options, knew where to go for physical/mental assistance, and had an ally by her/his/their side. Because that’s what any person should do in that situation. Because in that situation your friend was assaulted.

This all being said, hopefully it’s clear now since “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” presents this same scenario of a non-consenting person at a party, we can all agree that it is a song about sexual assault. It seems that every year as Christmas music begins to play again, we see that people begin to debate whether or not this song is really about assault or if there was just a misunderstanding. This, I may point out, is the same thing that happens to survivors of sexual assault in real life. People seem to find it appropriate to deny someone else’s personal experiences and contrive a story made of their own preferred truth--a truth that, in this case, doesn’t rob them of a catchy tune.

But see here’s the absolute truth about this song: at no point does the traditionally female character give consent. This reality in and of itself is enough to make this a story of assault. Throughout the entire song, the female character is being coerced and manipulated into staying with the traditionally male character despite her protests. Then there’s the fact that he puts something in her drink fairly early on in the song, and I think it’s fair to assume that this was some kind of drug, alcohol or otherwise.

I know the song has a good beat. I know there’s a million different versions of it on your favorite Christmas albums. I know it plays all the time. However, if you’re going to listen to it, don’t pretend that it’s a cute love song representing the romantic ventures of cute couple from the 1940s.

Like, I said, I know that the beat is catchy. So if you like the beat, then check out my new favorite remake, “It’s Cold Outside” by Lydia Liza and Josiah Lemanski. It’s brilliant! According to a CNN article about the song, the couple wrote it because of the issue of sexual assault on college campuses. I’ve seen at least two articles that describe this remake as an update for the age we are in. I disagree.

The language of consent has always been necessary in every age. Consent is always, always, always, always, always, ALWAYS necessary. The new lyrics from Liza and Lemanski show what it is to have a healthy relationship not based on power, patriarchy, and gender roles. I highly encourage you to at least give it a shot. I personally listened to it nonstop for a whole day when I first heard it. Check it out!