Whenever my family members would get together, coffee was always served in a never-ending supply. The smell of dark roasted coffee beans has always been a smell that triggers fond memories and something that makes my tongue beg for a taste. At the start of the sixth grade, I began drinking coffee every morning — that burst of caffeine was just what I needed to start my day. I never suspected that one day the thing I loved so much would cause me problems.
Years later, I started noticing that if I would forget to drink coffee in the mornings, my day would be absolutely horrible. I would get a throbbing headache and I found it ridiculously hard to find the motivation to do anything. When I did remember to have a cup in the morning, I would get to school and we would have such short passing periods I could never take my time when using the restroom. This made my stomach twist and turn when I was supposed to be focusing on the lecture. My anxiety started getting worse so I began looking for things that could possibly be a trigger. I learned that caffeine for many raised levels of anxiety, especially the caffeine found in coffee. So if I did drink coffee, I was completely anxious and bloated all day, and if I didn't drink it I was lethargic and had blinding headaches.
I couldn't find a win! I didn't want to give up coffee because in some ways it made me feel really good and I LOVED the taste. I loved being able to connect with people over a cup of coffee. But at the same time, I was miserable.
Sophomore year of high school, I decided I was going to ween it out. This was very rough, but eventually, I did kick my coffee addiction. Now if I'm looking for an energy boost I turn to tea. For me, the caffeine in tea doesn't make me anxious and as a singer adding some honey to my tea is great for my voice. Also since I've stopped my teeth have been so much whiter. There will be times where I drink a cup of coffee for the taste, and honestly, every time I do, I regret it. It is just not worth it.
I think a lot of us have that one thing in life — that thing that gives us instant gratification at the moment but leads to problems later.
I'm not even talking about the dark stuff. We can become addicted to pretty much anything and fighting addiction is hard. It could be holding on to a toxic friendship, binge-watching Netflix instead of getting stuff done, being so addicted to social media you use your phone while you're going to the bathroom (I know I'm not the only one). Sometimes it is important to really step back and take a look at the things we do and determine whether or not the way they make us feel now and the way they will make us feel later is really worth it.
