The day after Thanksgiving, as I was recovering from my food coma, I was flipping through radio stations in the car. I couldn't find a station that wasn't blasting "Rudolph" or "Silent Night." That's when it hit me.
Oh crap. It’s almost Christmas.
I hadn’t even thought of what I would get for any of my family members. Let alone how I was going to pay for any of these presents. As a college student, the little money I have goes straight to Chinese food and textbooks. I can't give that up for the sake of generosity.
So what am I supposed to get everyone?
I was racking my brain trying to think of gifts I could actually afford. It was then that I turned to the man that I always go to in times of struggle: Spongebob Squarepants. The following are all gifts that Mr. Krabs would approve of:
1. A Lovely Sweater
Keep your wallet full and your family warm this Christmas. Instead of going out to a wildly expensive store like Walmart, just hand make one with the tears you shed during finals.
2. A Pet Rock
Nothing says “I love you” to your significant other like a gift you can share. Together you can name, raise, and adore your new pet. Not to mention how much money you'll win when you enter it in all the snail races.
3. You can’t go wrong with chocolate.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t even really have to be good. Just give it to your Grandma and tell her how it will make her live forever.
4. The Gift of Imagination
Has your mom always wanted to go to Hawaii? Now she can! If you don’t have any leftover boxes from
5. Straight up cash…or whatever you have left of it
It’s the thought that counts. Even if that thought is just three crumpled up bills in an envelope.
6. Bubbles!
As Spongebob and Patrick prove this one isn't just for the kids in your family. Bubbles are truly fun for all. So head down to the dollar store and pick up a bottle for your dad.
7. Play them a song
This isn't just one for those with musical talent. Anyone can belt out the words to The Campfire Song and make it seem like a meaningful gift. However, it will help if they just sing along.
8. Or maybe do an interpretive dance
Sure, you could look like an idiot, but who cares? This gift is definitely one that they'll remember. An added bonus is that it only needs to be performed once, but you can say it's a gift to the whole family!
9. If all else fails, just spend time with your loved one.
Spend a little extra time listening to their stories or help around the house this Christmas. This is great because they'll really appreciate it and think you're trying to be a caring person. They never have to know you're just saving up that lo-mein money.
