10 Best John Mulaney Moments
Start writing a post
Entertainment

10 Times John Mulaney Spoke And I Felt It In My Soul

I've said it before and I'll say it again, being friends with me is basically getting a reenactment of John Mulaney's jokes.

595
https://media2.fdncms.com/eastbayexpress/imager/u/original/15194977/john_mulaney_kid_gorgeous.jpg

John Mulaney is my muse. I've watched and/or listened to every one of his recorded shows I could get my hands on. Basically everything he says is 90% accurate with regards to my life and what I think when I see things. He is hilarious and I recommend that everyone go watch all of his shows right now. One of the few comedians that has left me in tears multiple times from laughing so hard, John Mulaney is comedy gold.

1. On making and canceling plans 

I cannot explain how absolutely true this is. Weekday me gets excited and makes plans that weekend me definitely does not want to go through with. If only I could get it together and agree with myself.

2. On those days when it's just been one of those days 

Sometimes I feel like my life is just one long string of bad days, but regardless I've been here and done this. At some point, the crap just starts to melt together and stop affecting you. It's all part of the process.

3. On being liked 

I can pretend that what other people say and think doesn't affect me, but if we're being truly honest, I will analyze a conversation that has happened until I can find at least five things that might have gone wrong. Busy and can't reply to me? I'll probably realize that, but convince myself that you've decided to terminate our friendship and will from this point forward be ignoring me.

4. On expressing emotions.

.... and then one day I'll die. Why tell people how you really feel when you could just let it all stay bottled up and live a perfectly miserable life free of confrontation? The answer is I don't know and I will continue to live this way until I die.

5. On over-analysis and sleep deprivation 

Maybe this is pretty similar to number three, but I feel that it is an entirely different emotion. There's simply overanalyzing a conversation with a stranger, then there's overthinking things to the point where you've convinced yourself that all of your friends are secretly plotting against you. Or maybe you haven't slept in three days are just emotional. Or maybe both. Who knows?

6. On driving 

As far as the skill of driving goes, I'm not half bad. It's the paying attention and planning ahead which gets me. Which is basically all of the essential parts of driving and, you know, living. I apologize to anyone who might drive behind me at some point. I'm probably going to screw up, and I'm really sorry, but I also really need in this lane.

7. On other people 

People are so weird. So very, very weird. Sometimes you just have to ask, "why are you the way you are," "why would you say that," or just plain "why?"

8. On interacting with people 

I can handle people up to a certain point, but once that point is reached, I've had enough and give zero cares about whoever happens to be in my way.

9. On bad jokes 

Granted, in context this was a mockery of Mick Jagger, but I mean this is basically me whenever someone tries to make a stupid joke. Or more accurately, when a guy is trying to impress someone by doing some action that probably makes zero sense in context.

10. On college

The only thing he got wrong here was the price. College is like a fun game where you lose money and it's actually not fun at all, but instead incredibly stressful. I mean sure it does have its pros, but I don't think the pothole filled roads, maggots in the vegetables, and classrooms that get hot enough in the winter to make you sick are really worth tens of thousands of dollars.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

85395
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

51337
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments