When you hear the word “lady” your first association is probably with the 19th century, tea, long frilly dresses, Grace Kelly and a misconstrued, antiquated version of what it means to be a woman. But as we’ve progressed, in all things (technology, ideology, culture, etc.), the definition of a lady has evolved as well. While the traditional measure of becoming a lady might have involved charm school, the Queen of Genovia as your instructor or reading every edition of Emily Post, this is what it now entails in order to become a lady in 2016.

1. Never undervalue the benefit of punctuality.

Sometimes tardiness is completely unavoidable and in these cases, I’m sure an apology will suffice. But your overall promptness tells people that you value them and their time. A lady will honor her word and do her utmost to assure her punctuality.

2. Know how to dress appropriately.

And when I use “appropriately” I mean that your outfit should be well-suited for whatever you’re dressing for. In the same way that you wouldn’t wear pjs to a job interview, a lady wouldn’t want to be caught in formal wear while on vacation.

3. Confidence in herself and respect for others.

Everyone knows confidence is almost as palpable an attribute as is hair color. A lady knows how to carry herself in a confident way that demands respect for herself and puts others around her at ease. By the same token, she knows how to respect others was well. Knowing very well that respecting others is an easy way to help build their confidence.

4. Be well-versed.

It’s not imperative to your success as a lady that you know every play ever written, or every politician's biography. That being said, you should have more than one topic that you can converse easily about especially if you find yourself in a setting where you’ll be interacting with people you’ve never met before.

5. Learn to be a good hostess.

Inside and outside your home. In your home, this means making people comfortable and making sure their needs are met. Outside, this still means making sure people feel welcome but maybe in conversation as opposed to your living room. In the words of Claude Monet, “I must have flowers, always, and always.”

6. Don’t be afraid to give compliments.

But don’t be frivolous with them either. Compliments only maintain their worth when they’re given in a non-selfish and sincere way. A lady knows this and will dole out compliments when she truly means them.

7. Have a backup plan.

One could essentially equate life to the word capricious. A lady knows that life can bring so many unforeseen things and she does her best to plan accordingly. One of the best preparations for this is to keep an armada of backup plans at her disposal.

8. Be a communicator.

Saying what you want to say is one thing but saying it effectually is another. Any person who was taught to speak is capable of relaying their thoughts but a lady learns that her words have power and so she learns how to wield her words that best convey her message. Words, like many things, can be an abused power and a Lady learns how best to use hers.

9. A chance for forgiveness.

Mistakes are made, tempers flared and malicious words are spoken. Sometimes we get into disputes with even our closest of friends and sometimes they have unpleasant results. If they are at fault, a lady knows to give them the chance for forgiveness. She measures the value of the friendship against the argument and will judiciously decide whether the bond is worth amending. If she is at fault, a lady will not be petty but will be humble and know that she needs to take the first step in rectifying the relationship.

10. Be happy for others.

This is sometimes easier said than done. Whether a friend announces an engagement or they got the job you wanted, it’s equally important that you celebrate with them to let them know you care. And when it becomes your time to celebrate, you’ll want them to do the same for you.

11. Do not disparage others for choices they make.

Barring a potentially life-threatening or harmful error, a lady will not belittle another for a decision that is made, however frivolous or insignificant she may deem it. A lady is respectful of others wishes and knows to offer support when needed and will not say “I told you so” if the result is less than desired.

12. Don’t be afraid to solicit help.

A part of becoming a lady is humility, and humility often means knowing when you cannot do something on your own. This is the time to ask for help and hopefully the people who care about you will be more than happy to offer their assistance in whatever way they can.

13. Fresh lipstick.

The reapplication of lipstick throughout one's day can seem tedious and trivial but a little lipstick can go a long way. A fresh layer of lipstick can transform an outfit into looking thoughtful and well put together. (likewise, for shoes) A lady knows that the benefits of the reapplication of lipstick are incalculable.

14. Always be graceful and kind.

Life often throws many curveballs our way and how we react to them can be a true testament to our true character. A lady never berates a waiter for bringing her the wrong entree and she never reproaches a friend for not getting her the gift she wanted.

15. A lady knows who she is.

There could be a list of 1001 rules and regulations dictating how we should act and who we should be, but a true lady knows that she decides for herself who she will be. Being a lady doesn't mean having everything figured out -- no one has everything figured out, a lady just becomes the best version of herself and lives her life accordingly. Most importantly, she knows that she doesn’t always have to abide by all the rules that even she makes. A lady never takes herself too seriously. She lets her hair down and kicks off her heels and allows herself to enjoy her life.