We all undergo bad experiences in our lives that make us feel like our whole world is tumbling down. These experiences tend to be sudden which causes them to be overwhelmingly traumatizing, but they can also occur over an extended period of time. I have had a few bad experiences myself, and what I have gathered from them is that they completely throw you off balance and cause you to no longer feel like yourself. This is the worst feeling I have ever felt.
Nothing compares to feeling like you have lost a part of yourself. You feel as though the whole world is revolving, and you are stagnant. Constantly drowning in your own thoughts until you finally fall asleep, only to awaken gasping for breath as though it is your last. You possess an constant fear of living that gradually ravages your mind. You have a fear of life; a fear of what that horrid thing we are told to be grateful for might do to someone as fragile as a flower. You begin to wonder where you have gone for you are no longer able to recognize yourself. The once joyful child with an ever present smile and an excitement for life has withered away. Endless tears stream down your face because the you everyone once knew is gone, and you are broken. Broken, devoured by sadness, and powerless; this is what you feel, this is who you are.
What you need to remember:
Tomorrow is a new day. I know of the pain you feel, I know of your suffering, but tomorrow is a new day. This feeling that you have now is not forever. Remember that life goes on so you have to keep living. I will not deny that it is hard to move on from these times, but this does not mean you should stop fighting. Someday you will feel like yourself again. You will regain balance, and you will no longer be broken. It is up to you to bring back that joyful child, but do not forget, you are not alone. We are all surrounded by love and beauty. Life is not horrid; it does not intend to hurt you so do not fear it. Live life with the uttermost excitement, enjoy everyday, and acknowledge everything there is to be grateful for.
We are all bound to endure a few bad experiences in our lives that will make us lose ourselves. Do no allow these experiences to define who you are. Time will heal all wounds so make sure you take control of your life again once you are ready. As Kelly Clarkson once said, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
