Bachelor In Paradise Episode 1 Recap
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The Most Dramatic 'Bachelor In Paradise' Recap Yet: Here's What Went Down On 'BIP' Episode One

There are three seasons of the year, "The Bachelor," "The Bachelorette," and "Bachelor In Paradise." What's your favorite?

The Most Dramatic 'Bachelor In Paradise' Recap Yet: Here's What Went Down On 'BIP' Episode One

Last night was the night, all the most loved, hated, and flopped Bachelor Nation dumpees have risen from the dead and ready to find love.

"Bachelor In Paradise" is back and with a lot of "who are you?" faces. I'm talking to you Angela and Grocery Store Joe. Let's start there, who's this hunk already swooning over Tia and placing claim on Kendall? It's Joe Amabile, lovable grocery store owner and night one dumpee from Becca's season of "The Bachelorette."

Immediately following the breakup, Joe blew up on Twitter and has been a BIP pre-season favorite ever since.

Joe 180'd from his awkward demeanor on "The Bachelorette," locking lips with Kendall day one and speaking confidently about placing claim on her during their time in the cabana. Can't speak too soon but I think we have our first 'BIP' couple.

Let's move on, and get back to the beginning.

The first thirty minutes of the episode are wasted with intro's updating us on the lives we already follow of the some-thirty contestants. They go about like this:

Kendall, did I mention I like taxidermy? Kenny's daughter McKenzie is 11. Kevin, Ashley Iaconetti kissed Jared Haibon while they were dating, also, Krystal is hot. Krystal's voice was not fake plus she's a really good cook. Chris is a gooseball. Jordan cuts head off rubber chicken. Annaliese is scared of everything, including sand and big bodies of water. Bibiana has a lot of great bikinis and wants to be sure the show will blur her butt. Wills wants everyone to know he's not actually as sleepy as I seemed on "The Bachelorette!" Tia reminds everyone, Little Rock men suck!

However, not everyone who arrives gets an intro package, including some that more than needed it. Angela, a model from Nick's season, is still just Angela, a model from Nick's season. Thanks, "Paradise."

First to walk down those infamous steps was America's sweetheart, Tia. Her southern accent and sweet smile is about to have all the men crushin'.

Tia expects Colton to be there day one and ready to work out their issues. She admits they have not spoken since "The Bachelorette." And unfortunately or fortunately, she is given a date card right out of the gate. Although she wants to ask, an absent, Colton, she asks Chris instead.

Date: Check. Kiss: Check. Colton who?: Check. But just as Tia was settling into her new relationship, Colton arrives, dun dun dun.

Colton arrives a little more than halfway through and although Tia seemed just about determined to put Colton behind her, by the end of the episode, Tia and Colton have kissed, sort of made up, and reminded us all of their dating history yet again.

Tia giddily agrees and the classic, "feels hopeful." The date seems to go well, Colton agreeing not to close the door on this romance. They kissed, which left Colton wanting to figure out the situation once and for all.

Meanwhile, Chris, Nick, and Jordan conspired to take Colton down. The three believe Colton was a fame chaser who just wanted to be on TV with nearly everyone pointing out the red flags in his behavior, especially Astrid in the most airtime she got all night.

The "Goose Gang"—Chris nicknames the group, now referring to himself as "Goose" for some reason—was ready to pounce right as the episode ended.

Elsewhere, Nick tried to make some moves on Chelsea by literally just repeating that she was really hot and that he would be interested in making out with her until she excused herself because she "felt sick."

Kevin gave his take on Ashley I. and Jared's relationship following his split from his fellow "Bachelor Winter Games" champion. "When Ashley and I left Winter Games, I knew I wanted to marry her one day, and then all of a sudden, Jared flips the switch and now he wants to be with her," he told the cameras. "I did try to make it work, but if you kiss another guy while you're dating someone else, it's cheating in my book. That really hurt me."

Krystal took an interest in Kevin, and the feeling was pretty mutual. Getting hot and heavy pretty quickly, Krystal remarked that Kevin had "pillow lips" like she never experienced on Arie Luyendyk Jr.'s season of "The Bachelor," #CalledOut.

Couples to watch?

The love triangle, ChrisTiaOlton

Krystal & Kevin

Kendall & Grocery Joe

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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