When people screw you over it's hard not to be full of hate. When someone breaks your heart, the emotions run so deep, that you catch yourself becoming bitter with any association of them. Hurt can transform into hate; however, it's hurting yourself too.

I can name an instant of feeling this pain when I was on a trip with my friend. As we were waiting in line for the bus, we decided to take a nice long walk down ex-memory lane Ultimately, I lied to myself. "If there was one person in my life I never wish I met, it would be him." I paused. What caused me to say that? Was it that I endured pain, sadness, and wished I never had to pick up the pieces after this person walked into my life? Yes.

But,

I paused.

I breathed.

I redirected.

"But I learned from it."

When I think about the unrequited love that I swallowed one gulp at a time, until I ran out of air to breath, I couldn't help but be bitter. It was the type of taste that stayed in your mouth until you managed to notice everything in life that is sweet and decided to indulge.

So I told myself I would no longer feel sad.

I would no longer be resent myself for not seeing clearly, for being naïve, or not listening to my heart.

I would no longer cringe when I heard his name or when a song we listened to came on the radio.

I told myself that everything happens for a reason.

And that this happened for me – no to me.

It happened as a learning opportunity and a chance for growth.

So, I want girls to know when they hear Ariana's Grande's new song, don't just think about how it would make a great Instagram caption to throw shade at your ex (even though I can't deny it)

Think about the truth behind her lyrics.

Listen to the second verse honesty – there isn't a relationship as important as the one you are in with yourself.

Remember to be mindful of how you stuck with yourself through everything. Too often do I hear girls say, "he's been there for me through so much."

You have been there for yourself so much. You have always had yourself.

You got through trials and tribulations in your life. You have been there to ride the waves in the most terrifying storms. Thank the people that were there to swim along the waves with you or those who forced you to fight the current. Either way, I promise you'll make it safely to shore.

And with a grateful heart, and mindset of growth, have this idea resonate with you as you sing with Ari,

"She taught me love (Love)
She taught me patience
How she handles pain
That shit's amazing I've loved and I've lost
But that's not what I see
'Cause look what I've found

'Cause look what I've found
Ain't no need for searching, and for that, I say
Thank u, next."