Not even two days after Independence Day, I learned about the first shooting in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Almost desensitized, I routinely went to article after article to learn more about it. As multiple resources say, Alton Sterling was selling CD’s outside of a store and didn’t have a permit. The police officers tried to apprehend him. He tried to resist arrest so after pining him down, they fatally shot him. What brought things into perspective for me was watching the statement from his wife. His son tried to keep his composure when he broke down in tears crying that he wants his father back. Heart breaking, I began to cry as well as ask God why this continues to happen.

Some people would agree with me while others would bring out his past criminal records. Does this justify his death? Or does it excuse the feeling of apathy that is more comfortable to live in than to mourn with those who mourn? Let me pose a very hot button question: Why is it so easy to declare “Love Wins!” over “Black Lives Matter”? If love truly wins, why can’t it be extended to all?

Don’t get me wrong, I want all people to be able to live happily in this country. However, I cannot pretend to ignore the blatant divide this country has when it comes to racial minorities, like myself. I don’t tell someone who has been harassed and/or beaten that they shouldn’t have worn their religious clothing. I wouldn’t dare try to justify the mistreatment of a LGBTQ couple because as a Christian I disagree with their lifestyle. I would treat them all with love and respect and not try to undermine their level of grief. I would grieve with them and not shove stats, facts, and counter hashtags into their faces because I was uncomfortable.

So, as a black woman who is grieving over Alton Sterling, Philando Castille, and the Dallas officers that were murdered, I ask that you not get defensive, offended, or feel the need to educate me that all lives matter. I know that. Do you?