losing a best friend
Start writing a post
Family Friends

An Open Letter To The Friend I lost

“The hardest thing you will do in life is grieve the loss of a person still alive.”

An Open Letter To The Friend I lost
Photo by Kevin Schmid on Unsplash

Dear Stranger,

I couldn't wait to cheer you on at your games this upcoming school year. I couldn't wait to come home from college and surprise you. I couldn't wait to tell you about all the cute boys I see while I'm there. I couldn't wait to do the blazin' wing challenge that guy suggested we do.

I couldn't wait to convince your mama to let us go to El Paso (even though we both knew what her answer would be). I couldn't wait to perfect a dive (both of us knew each attempt got worse). I couldn't wait for senior week 2021. I couldn't wait for us to be in our eighties ( I'd still be white as all get out) laughing at the stupidest things. I couldn't wait to take on life with you as my best friend.

However, all that has changed now. It's been awhile since we last spoke. It started with a few days of no communication that you always said not to take personally. Then every picture of us was deleted off of Instagram.

And then I was suddenly blocked/unfriended on every social media platform. It all happened so fast I never truly had time to reflect on why it was happening. It took you forever to finally delete you know who from your life, but it took less than 24 hours for you to forget about me and I think that's what hurt the most.

Just seeing how easy it was for you to block me from your life hurt in more ways than I can explain. I was abandoned with absolutely no closure. You knew how my mom died. You knew I yearned for answers to why she killed herself and then you do the exact same thing she did. You just left me. No goodbye. Maybe I wasn't worthy of one. I was heartbroken.

I am heartbroken. You consumed 3/4th of my camera roll so having to delete all of our memories took an inner strength I never knew I had. However, they're in my recently deleted for 30 days so I still go back and look at all the good times we had. I basically deleted a year of my life, perhaps the best one I've ever had.

We were two peas in a pod. When you saw one, the other was never too far behind. I brought you food before your games. I listened to you cry over a boy I already warned would break your heart. I chose to hang out with you over my own family. I took you home after work. I basically planned my life to fit your schedule.

Now I have all the time in the world, but I can't help but miss us.

I miss going grocery shopping with you. I miss our sonic runs. I miss going to Buffalo Wild Wings with you. I miss ordering sushi at Jap knowing I hated it. I miss getting ice cream with you. I miss blaring our favorite songs while I almost run off the side of the road. I miss baking cookies with you and prank calling people. I miss the nights in the basement that made your mama think we were up to no good. I miss sitting in my closet watching you do your makeup at 2 in the morning. I miss hearing your boy drama. I miss your snaps. I miss getting Starbucks. I miss having to snap our food before we could eat. I miss your dog. I miss you in my passenger seat.

I just miss you.

However, I've come to realize an awful truth; you don't miss me. I'm terrified you haven't been affected by my absence. I'm scared you've found my replacement. I'm scared I'm caring about something you stopped caring about a long time ago. You hurt me. You hurt me like no one ever has. From the bottom of my heart I am so so sorry for whatever I did to you. Sorry doesn't change anything, but just know I never meant to hurt you in any way. I said I don't care a lot, but I cared more than you could ever imagine.

I still care. I always will.

I truly prayed for you on nights I didn't pray for myself. I don't regret that for a second because I watched firsthand God answer prayers you had no idea were prayed. I hope you accomplish everything you set out to do. I hope you live your life to the fullest and never take the easy way out. I hope you marry the man of your dreams. I always imagined being the greatest aunt in the world to your children, but I guess someone new will take my place in their life.

Despite the tears I've cried over you and the heartache you've caused me if you ever need me for anything and I mean anything I would do my best to be there for you. I would do it all over again despite knowing how it ends. I may not be one of your best friends anymore, but you are still mine. I'll always love you and you will forever hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for giving me some of the greatest memories of my life.

There will never be another quite like you. I hope this letter somehow reaches you and you find it in your heart to forgive me. Bye. It's been a pleasure.

Love, Skylar

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments