I Already Hate the Next Bachelor...
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I Already Hate the Next Bachelor...

A full analysis of why this season's bachelors simply won't do.

37
I Already Hate the Next Bachelor...
ABC

So unless you've been living under a rock for the past few months, this year's Bachelorette is the fan favorite from Ben's season, JoJo.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F24%2F636023784606018267202936215_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=99&h=2a74387639416ea92832783d6fbab9a294c2ccf40e725cf3f0dd43183b2f3a67&size=980x&c=3341642485 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F24%252F636023784606018267202936215_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D99%26h%3D2a74387639416ea92832783d6fbab9a294c2ccf40e725cf3f0dd43183b2f3a67%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3341642485%22%7D" expand=1]

All of Bachelor Nation shed a universal tear when Ben dropped the bomb on the season finale that although he had found love with JoJo, he had found it more with someone else (Lauren B.)

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F24%2F636023808915338783-141609764_bachelor-gif-today2-160315_0_806f578778395ce34d771c00a3265431.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=880&h=5007c2075bacdd79683de59794d1368a7b307930de80bd1047859aeb0dfa611f&size=980x&c=2984176040 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F24%252F636023808915338783-141609764_bachelor-gif-today2-160315_0_806f578778395ce34d771c00a3265431.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D880%26h%3D5007c2075bacdd79683de59794d1368a7b307930de80bd1047859aeb0dfa611f%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2984176040%22%7D" expand=1]

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This left everyone in a state of anger and panic until our savior Chris Harrison announced that JoJo would be returning at the next Bachelorette.

Everyone wants to see the beloved Joelle Fletcher find her prince charming and feel the love that Ben Higgins couldn't give. However, as soon as this season started there was one rather large elephant in the room.

These guys are horrible.

And I'm not just talking about Bad Chad. He was just a good distraction from the fact that there are almost no good options for JoJo's husband, or our next Bachelor. Usually they select one of the runner-up's to star as America's next most eligible bachelor, but I have no idea which of these guys they would choose. Is it an option to go back to Kaitlyn's season and choose Jared H. or Ben Z.?

If not they're going to have to choose from one of these few men...

Alex

Sure, he's attractive. But that's just about it. He loves friend group drama more than a 15 year old private school girl. He's far too annoying to have a whole season of the bachelor focused on him and he'd also be shorter than most of the contestants they'd get for the show. Next.

Jordan

Jordan is super hot and charming but it seems as if he might be a little evil. He's a former NFL quarterback and little brother to the far more successful Aaron Rodgers. He's winning over JoJo's heart but I get the feeling he's in this for the fame he didn't receive from his football career. This could be his chance to make a name for himself that's not his brother's. Either way, I get the sense he'd be another Juan Pablo.

Robby

JoJo really likes Robby and I'm over here trying to figure out why. His face doesn't move when he talks and he's boring. There's just no way he'd be the bachelor simply because his season would put people to sleep. Just no.

Chase

I really like Chase in the way that I really liked Tanner from Kaitlyn's season. He's not quite a leading man but I'm sure we'll see him on Bachelor in Paradise if he doesn't win. Which he won't.

Derek

Derek. Same problem with Chase. He seems a little too sensitive to be the Bachelor. He's also the kind of person where you love him or hate him and I think too many people hate him. Final verdict: Dud.

James


Awww.... no.

Wells

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No.

Luke

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If Luke doesn't win, and they can't go back and choose Jared H., I think they're stuck with Luke. Luke seems to be the most likable, least controversial, and somewhat interesting contestant left. He's certainly charming and a gentleman, but I still wish there was someone more exciting.


In conclusion: please go back and choose Jared so we can watch Ashley I. dramatically storm in during the first rose ceremony and beg Jared to let her come on the season to win his love yet again. And to JoJo, I'm sorry ABC didn't get together a great group of bachelor's for your season. Or maybe you sent them home the first night. The world may never know, or care.

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