Yeah, you read that title right, I've never seen Game of Thrones. There's been so much hype about it for years, I've just never put in the effort to watch it. I've been warned by many people that it's gory and inappropriate, but I feel like I'm finally ready to experience it. So here is everything that ran through my mind as I watched the first episode.
1. Are any of these people John Snow?
2. Something bad is going to happen, it's too quiet and he's all alone.
3. NO DON'T GET OFF THE HORSE.
4. Three minutes in and there are already dead bodies everywhere.
5. "Do the dead frighten you?" They should, they're dead.
6. One of them is going to die I know it.
7. Wait all the bodies are gone.
8. They're definitely going to die.
9. Yes, the horses are running away, they died.
10. That girl had the coolest eyes.
11. She was dead though... wasn't she?
12. Ok then, random beheading.
13. I am all for these opening credits.
14. They're so long though.
15. How far did that guy walk for there to be no snow?
16. There's John Snow.
17. And the meme from Lord of the Rings.
18. Does this take place in the past? Or is it some awful future?
19. This kid is doing better than I would at archery.
20. "Winter is coming" the only line I know from this show.
21. Why are they killing this guy because he got attacked?
22. Wait, he's making the 10 year old watch.
23. That's messed up.
24. Was not expecting that beheading to actually be in shot...
25. Is beheading the only way to kill people in this show?
26. The dead deer is gross, but I can't get over the tongue sticking out of it's mouth.
27. Did the wolf kill the deer? Then what killed the wolf?
28. What kind of wolf?
29. The puppies are so cute.
30. How is John Snow a Stark's child, but not his son?
31. Oh, we moved locations.
32. I really want stones with eyes painted on them.
33. These siblings seem extremely suspicious.
34. Aren't there supposed to be dragons in this?
35. Dear writers of this show: we can't be upset about someone dying if we don't know who they are.
36. "A man of his stature" I already know who they're talking about.
47. Please don't cut John Snow's hair.
48. Does this kid realize that climbing up and down a castle wall is dangerous?
49. Good thing his mom just scolded him and did nothing else.
50. Wait, isn't that the blonde kid the internet hates?
51. Wow, the King and Stark are real brothers.
52. There was a whole month that we skipped?
53. Ok, nice to know that arranged marriages are going to be a big theme.
54. Oh, so the King was married to Ned Stark's sister?
55. The dragon girl!
56. She's getting married? Isn't she supposed to be like 16?
57. Wait this guy is her brother?
58. Dang, you know this girl doesn't want to get married.
59. I wouldn't be upset with marrying this guy.
60. So is dragon girl's brother a king? Or is he just trying to take over everyone?
61. He's trading his sister for an army, what a prick.
62. This girl is so whiny, and she wants to marry the guy hated by the internet. I already don't like her.
63. The Queen always has a look of disgust.
64. What happened to John Snow's family?
65. I looked up the show's IMDB and John Snow is actually Jon Snow.
66. Oh, so Ned Stark is his father, but he has a different mother.
67. Well who's his mother?
68. Peter Dinklage has some issues.
69. We get it, winter is coming. But is it like fall right now?
70. Her daughter is wanting to get married at 13?
71. And then she's just going to ignore her future husband.
72. Are we not going to talk about how awesome the other daughter is though?
73. Why is the King taking Ned?
74. So, if I'm understanding this right, the Queen's family killed the guy that Ned is taking over for?
75. Who put a snake on the dragon girl's wedding registry?
76. This is quite an interesting wedding.
77. Aww, they don't even speak the same language.
78. It isn't a party until someone dies.
79. Oh, well I guess it isn't a good wedding until at least three people die.
80. I watched this for dragons and all I got were dragon eggs.
81. Wait, this guy is the new Aqua man, isn't he?
82. "Make him happy." Her brother needs to chill.
83. I can't tell who all of Ned's children are.
84. All the boys look the same.
85. Oh gosh the kid is climbing again.
86. I hope he doesn't fall on the dog.
87. I just don't want the dog to die.
89. That kid did not need to see that.
90. I already know what this guy is going to do.
91. I was right, he just threw the kid out of the tower.
92. I can't wait to watch the next episode.
Well, that was not as bad as I thought it would be. Then again, that was episode number one. Can't wait to see what the rest of the season brings.
