8 Ways To Convince Yourself That You're Cultured
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8 Ways To Convince Yourself That You're Cultured

A guide to acting fancy.

8 Ways To Convince Yourself That You're Cultured

You are a college student (AKA a low-key adult) now, so you better start acting like one. The first step in being acknowledged as a Real Adult and definitely Not A Kid is to act cultured. Thankfully, that is easy enough to achieve in the city of Houston. Here are eight ways to convince yourself that you're cultured.

1. Buy season tickets for the Houston Ballet even if you don’t particularly love ballet.

Force yourself to attend every single performance because you paid an arm and a leg and you’re going to get your money’s worth, dammit.

2. Go to contemporary dance performances even though they’re usually way too avant-garde for your tastes.

The abstract performances go over your head but remember to clap loudly at the end anyway.

3. Attend a Houston Symphony performance and rave about how beautiful music was in the Renaissance/Baroque/Classical/Romantic period.

Don’t forget to complain about how pop is ruining modern music.

4. Go to an art museum with your friends and hold long discussions about the deeper meaning underlying each piece.

Even though all you see is a paint splatter that you totally could’ve made and sold for less than $509234800192.

5. Make a reservation at an upscale restaurant and look up the pronunciation for menu items before arriving.

You’ll totally impress the waiter and look like you belong if you can say hors d'oeuvres correctly.

6. When asked, cite your favorite childhood memory as the time you went to the opera with your family.

Even though your mom totally forced you go and you fell asleep halfway through.

7. Sign up for every Rice Passport event and be secretly relieved when you don’t receive tickets for some of the more boring ones.

You weren’t really interested in that mummy exhibit, but you had to keep up your image as a Cultured Person.

8. When someone asks you about your hobbies, be sure to mention all of the above.

Be cultured!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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