7 Times Dwight Schrute Proved He Is The Ultimate Human Being
Start writing a post

7 Times Dwight Schrute Proved He Is The Ultimate Human Being

As Dwight Schrute once said, "In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas."

7 Times Dwight Schrute Proved He Is The Ultimate Human Being
NBC Universal

If you haven't seen "The Office," what are you doing? Well, maybe I can look the other way, but will Dwight? There's no way Dwight will forgive you. Who's Dwight? The craziest, most exquisite, savage and brutal person on the planet. He's probably also the only human that knows how to attack a bear and make sales faster than a cheetah. Being one of the most influential people ever, his morals, tips and life lessons will allow you to reach heights that were never possible before, so here are seven times he proved that he was the ultimate human on earth.

1. Dwight quality is the right quality.

Usually, people will have someone they look up to, or they will try their hardest to be successful like that one person. For Dwight, the perfect example of a successful human being is himself. According to him, we should all be him in order to reach our fullest potential, but who wouldn't want to be a hard, determined and smart worker?

2. Loyalty is key.

“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.” — Dwight, Halloween 2005

The deciding factor for most people's jobs is the pay or the position. For Dwight, it's loyalty. It doesn’t matter if the pay is higher, but if his co-workers aren't there when they need each other the most, Dwight's going to be working for a new paper company. His focus on loyalty shows that although he can be a pain for his other co-workers, he will never really abandon them. This is an important workplace tip we can all use when being the best employees we can be.

3. Two lives are better than one.

“I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same… except I could fly.” — Dwight

Is your current life getting boring? Just get another one! Have you made someone mad recently, had a bear chasing you or walked into a physics test you obviously didn't study for? No worries! Just hop into your second life for a fresh start! On the other hand, if your life is exciting for you to handle on one planet, start shifting some things over into a second, digital world!

4. Leave the bad decisions for idiots.

I think we all need to follow this one. How many times have you found yourself doing something idiotic? Too many times? Yeah, me too. We now don't have to worry anymore! Dwight's foolproof method will have us looking like the smartest people on earth in no time. Just repeat these words in your head before you do anything, and bam! Say goodbye to your mistakes.

5. How do you get rid of a body after CPR fails?

Every health teacher and doctor will teach you how to do CPR to the point where you know the routine by heart, but what about afterward? What if the CPR doesn't work, and you're left with a lifeless body in front of you? That's when you listen to Dwight. According to him, you have to cut out the organs immediately to use for organ donation, and if there isn't a patient in need of an organ around you, just use the organ yourself. After all, two layers of skin are more protective than one. #usefulmedicaltips101

6. Planking? Not while Dwight's around.

I'm pretty sure we've all been waiting for someone to tell us it's dangerous to exercise! Dwight says there is no need to exercise at work, so don't be afraid to spend lunch breaks devouring a large cheese pizza and coke. Also, why plank when you could test your body with more effective methods, like spending a night in a bear habitat? I'm sure Dwight would approve.

7. The Ultimate Fire Drill

Who wants that boring fire drill where they walk you out in a "single file line" and tell you to "remain calm"? I mean that's so useless cause we ALL know ain't no one going to be leaving all their belongings behind just to follow safety rules. I propose that every building adopt Dwight's superb method. His method takes panic and stress to another level. He doesn't just show you the exits. He fuses the exists shut and starts the fire in the room to bring you face to face with the real deal. Then, it's a game of survival of the fittest with Dwight narrating the entire time. Fun!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments