Dear State Governments

Dear State Governments

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In the past couple of days the week of May 13 a certain amount of states have made new abortion laws that pretty much makes it a crime for women to have abortions OR make it a crime for having a miscarriage.

Tell me why we are making it a crime for a women to do the right thing for herself? Or why are we making it a crime for a women to have miscarriage which is not only one of the hardest things a women can go through but they happen all the time.

Here are some statistics on miscarriages:

1. As much as 1 percent of all pregnancies will result in a missed miscarriage.
2. At least 20 percent of pregnancies are likely to result in a miscarriage.
3. The overall risk of miscarriage is 17 to 22 percent.
4. The risk after the gestational sac develops is as much as 12 to 15 percent.
5. The risk of miscarriage is 9.4 percent after a heartbeat is detected at 6 weeks. The percentage drops to 4.2 percent at 7 weeks, 1.5 percent at 8 weeks and 0.5 percent at 9 weeks.
6. The risk of miscarriage increases 12 percent after age 30. It increases to as much as 39 percent after age 35 and doubles after age 40 (about 78 percent).
7. People with partners over 40 years old increases the risk of miscarriage by as much as 60 percent.
8. The risk of marriage increases by as much as 43 percent with partners of age 35. The risk increases to as much as 90 percent with partners at age 50.
9. The risk of miscarriage increases to 88 percent when the father is over 50 years old.
10. The risk of miscarriage doubles for people who need more than 1 year to have a successful conception.

(https://healthresearchfunding.org/missed-miscarria...)


These women in the states that have made these laws are not able to share this wonderful times in their lives in fear that if they sadly have a miscarriage will be charged with murder. They cant take this wonderful time and enjoy it, instead they are walking on egg shells watching there every move (which by the way isn't good for the baby and the stress could lead to a miscarriage, but wait that would be the women's fault because she is so stressed out right?)

Some miscarriages happen due to where the egg attaches in the uterus. Sometimes the egg attaches within the Fallopian tube (ectopic pregnancy) all which lead to a miscarriage (and most women don't even know they are pregnant until they go to the ER with pain). So your telling me we are going to charge these women who 1. have no control over where they egg attaches and 2. majority of the time don't even know they are pregnant until minutes before they are rushed to surgery?

Abortions are also just as normal. Some have to have them due to medical reasoning's. Some get them because they don't feel that they are ready for a child due to whatever they are going thought in life. For those people who will argue "they didn't use protection and now she is being irreparable" let me say this: condoms they can break, Plan B doesn't always work especially the longer you wait to take it, if a girl forgets to take the pill (life happens and yes it does happen), if they guy says he is "using a condom" but really isn't, even if you used protection there is still a slight chance of getting pregnant, and rape is also something that happens to girls who do get pregnant from this terrible crime. Also for the people who say "well if you aren't ready for kids than don't have sex" let me say this: once you reach a certain time in a relationship sexual things happen, don't tell me that you never reciprocated on those feelings when you were young.

Stop. Trying. To. Control. Women's. Rights. When. You. Aren't. One. Because if you aren't one you will never understand.

We all know that if some law was to pass about controlling a mans life in anyway they would flip out. But when the roles are revised its OK. Explain to me how it is OK?

Girls and women continue the fight. Be heard. Do what you have to do to tell them what they are trying to do is wrong.

If we fight this now we can stop it before it continues to spread to other states.

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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The Things Nobody Told Me About Depression, But I Really Wish Somebody Would Have

I was diagnosed with depression six months ago. These are some of the things that I wish I had known sooner.

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There are a ton of things about having depression that no one will tell you. For example, something that no one ever told me about depression is that I have it.

I was diagnosed with depression in December of 2018 - just six months ago. But my therapist tells me that, based on what I've said about my mental state, I've likely had depression since elementary school, if not earlier.

The fact that I've had depression for so long and not know about it only goes to show how easy it is for one to live with mental health issues and never know it.

The fact that I apparently developed depression at such an early age only goes to show that mental health issues do not exclusively affect people only after they have lived and experienced all that life can throw at them.

The fact that I have had a pretty good life - a loving family, success in academics, never experiencing severe poverty - only goes to show that mental health issues are not always caused by shitty life experiences and traumas.

These are all things that no one ever told me about depression, and things that I never knew until I got to college and took a psychology class focused on mental health issues.

I did not know that depression can hide for years without you ever knowing about it.

I did not know that depression can manifest even in young children.

I did not know that depression can affect even those living happy lives.

These are things no one tells you about depression.

These are things that I had to learn by myself, and things that I am still learning how to compromise with the reality of my own life experience.

It's no one person's fault that I didn't know these things, it was the fault of a societal system that didn't know it needed to be concerned with such things. The early 2000s, when my young brain was developing and learning how to cope with the world, were not exactly focused on mental health in children. By the time people realized that children were suffering from depression and anxiety at earlier and earlier ages, I had already been living with my own issues for years, and I thought that my experiences and interpretations of the world around me was normal - that this was how everybody felt, that this was all normal. I didn't think that the symptoms that our counselors and teachers warned about at the beginning of each school year applied to me.

Nobody told me that depression isn't always sadness and crying.

Nobody told me that sometimes depression is a creeping grey numbness that clouds your brain. That sometimes it is a blurring and a muting of your emotions until you feel nothing at all. That such nothingness is worse than any level of sadness you would ever feel.

Nobody told me that depression isn't constant.

Nobody told me that I would have good days amid the bad ones. That every now and then, a day in a week or a day in a month or a day in a blue moon, I would have all of my emotions sharp and bright and my smiles would be as soft as they were genuine and I would relish the taste of the air around me. That these good days don't invalidate the bad days and mean that I don't have depression after all.

Nobody told me that once I was diagnosed with depression it would simultaneously feel like a weight had been lifted and like a punch to the gut all at once.

Nobody told me the relief that I would feel at the explanation and the knowledge that I might not always have to live like this. That I would also feel my understanding of my life flipped upside down, because if the way I have been experiencing the world is because of a disease, then what does that mean for the validity of my life and who I am?

Nobody told me that there would be a part of me that feared to get better, because who would I be without depression? Without this parasite that has somehow been such a constant throughout my life?

Nobody told me that I would begin to question which parts of my personality are "real" and which parts of me are the depression?

And if those two things can even be separate? And if so, will I ever be able to say I am better, if these parts of me developed through depression are still a part of me once I am "recovered"?

Nobody told me how scary that thought would be.

But what people have told me is that recovery is possible. They have told me that life gets better. That those good days that I used to find - unexpected yet welcome - could become my normal day. That I can be my own person, separate from my depression, and I can grow stronger, and happier, and more vibrant and more driven and MORE.

These are the things that people have told me, and these are the things that I remind myself of.

Nobody told me how lonely depression can be, but I hope that this article might make you feel a little less alone, and a little more prepared, and a little more understood.

I am not an expert. I still do not know everything, and my experience is my own, and in no way represents a majority or speaks on behalf of everyone out there suffering from depression. But I know now that I am not alone in my own experiences, and I hope that whoever is reading this, if you need it, maybe now you can know that you are not alone in yours.

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