English majors are pretty awesome. We don't just spend our days thinking about Milton's Satan or writing a story for the school newspaper. We also harness our superpowers that you can read below and yes, some (OK, all) are slightly hyperbolic (ask an English major what this means).
1. We can read a 500-page book in three hours.
2. We can write a 10-page paper overnight (and yes, that includes research).
3. We can create our own words. Hey, if Shakespeare did it, why can’t we?
4. We can somehow understand English that isn't really English (see "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer).
Being an English major isn't always easy, but we know it would be a confusing and bleak world without us. Don't believe me? Think about this before you ask your English major friend to proofread your paper or explain the theme of a classic novel to you.