I'm 20 Years Old and Homesick

I'm 20 Years Old and Homesick

I don't know if I miss my mama or my mama's food (probably both).

Freshman Year:

Coming into college at 18 years of age, I was ready to get away. I was tired of feeling grown up without actually being grown up. I was ready to meet new people, go on new adventures, and really find myself in the un-comfortability of college.

Nobody ever tells you that you're going to be homesick, though. I was lucky enough to live a couple hours from my college town, so I knew that the option of going home for a weekend was always available. But I didn't know that my first semester of college was going to be miserable.

I grew up with spectacular parents who loved me well and took incredible care of me, but I grew up in a town where everybody knew everybody, and at the end of the day, I knew I wasn't supposed to stay there. I knew I needed to go somewhere else, and so I did. I remember my parents leaving me at college after moving me into my dorm in August. I remember being scared. I remember being sad. As the first month of school went by, I was miserable. I hated it. I hated being away from home. I didn't understand what I was really doing. I felt uncomfortable. I felt homesick. I let all of those feelings and emotions envelop me.

So I went home as often as I could, and it helped. It helped me gain back my joy. But most importantly, it helped me realize that I was called to more at my school. I was so overwhelmed by this feeling of un-comfortability that I ran back to the comfort of my family and home when I hadn't even given college a chance.

The past two years:

Well, I decided to give it a chance. I decided to get out of my shell and get involved. I decided to be invested in people and give them a chance to change my perspective. And sometimes, I still decide to be homesick. I decide to miss my family.

Fall break is this week, and for the first time in two months, I get to go home. I'll decide to eat an overwhelming amount of home cooked food. I'll decide to watch cheesy Hallmark movies with my Mom and college football with my Dad. And I'll probably decide to cry when my mama says goodbye and watches me pull out of the driveway. But that's okay.

College has taught me a lot about myself. It has taught me what I need and what I can live without. It has taught me to miss people and to give those people a call. It's taught me that I can be whoever I want to be. It taught me that it's okay to be homesick as long as you know where your home is. And it taught me that it's okay to have a home away from home.

**Happy Fall Break! Thank you, Lee University, for being my home away from home.

Cover Image Credit: my photo

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.


To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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My First Year Of College Wasn’t Great And That’s Okay

I didn’t adjust as well as I thought I would, but I made it.


Everyone always raves about how much they loved their freshman year of college. The independence, the parties, meeting all these new people from different places. It's a big milestone in your life. But not everyone has an amazing first year. And I'm one of those people.

Don't get me wrong. I was so excited about college. Finally getting to be on my own, experiencing all these new things. I even met people in my class before we moved in. And the first month was a blast...but then it wasn't anymore.

Eventually, I slid into this “funk", you could say. I was depressed. I never wanted to leave my bed. Some nights, I didn't even wanna eat dinner. And soon, my friends noticed but soon just stopped inviting me out.

At first, they still would, even though the answer was always no. But I guess they got bored and tired of me always saying no.

Soon, I didn't feel like I even had any friends and at one point, I even found myself debating going home to avoid being alone in my room all weekend. I would force myself to make plans, but found myself not wanting to go out because I got ignored every time I did. It wasn't worth it.

I was homesick, isolated, and just wanted to fit in.

When the year finally came to an end, I couldn't be happier. But now that it is over and I'm home, I realize how much I miss the people that were there for me. The people that came into my life unexpectedly, but it was hard for me to really recognize they care about me.

I absolutely hated my freshman year of college. Yeah, it started out good and I found my sorority, but I never felt like I was wanted anywhere. I felt so alone. I became so incredibly isolated and distant and it took a drastic toll on me as a person.

But in spite of all that, I realize that maybe that's how it was supposed to happen. Because I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it will all play out.

This being said, my first year might not have been what I thought or hoped for. But I can truly say I am excited to see what my next year holds.

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