Summer is a great time of year, and for most lifeguards, prime money making season. We spend all winter wishing we were in the sun on the side of the pool, guarding the patrons we know all too well. When Memorial Day rolls around, we're all too eager to get back. Here's some thoughts all lifeguards have opening weekend.
1. Opening weekend, it's good to be back.2. I don’t need sunscreen, I’ll be fine.
3. You cannot run, you were never allowed to run before, so why are you running?
4. Is that kid just holding his breath for a really long time or is he in trouble?
5. If I have to make a save on my first day back...
6. I may actually die of heat stroke up here.
7. Is that a rule? Can I make up a rule?
8. *Tries to make any loud noise into a thunder call*
9. NO RUNNING
10. Are my tan lines bad?
11. No, you cannot eat in the pool, or in the grass area, or anywhere I’m going to have to clean it up.
12. They’re about to swim into each other. Should I whistle? Ah, too late.
13. Adult swim: nap time.
14. We close in 15 minutes, why are people still coming in?
15. I have the best job in the world.