1. "Do you work here?"

No, I just have a headset and name tag on for fun.

2. "Do you have anymore in the back?"

No we don't, and if it's clearance then we definitely don't. We don't keep the good stuff in the back room.

3. "I saw this online, so where can I find it in the store?"

Most of the time if you found it online it will be an online only item, clearly marked on the website.

4. "Oh wait, I DO have change!"

When a customer tells you this AFTER you’ve typed in the amount they’ve already given you.

5. "I'd like to make a return, but I don't have my receipt."

Whatever, I'm only allowing this so that you'll get out of my face.

6. "I left my coupon at home, can you still honor it?"

No, unfortunately we need the physical coupon.

7. "What's the sale price on this?"

Take 60% off of the price tag and that's your final price!

8. "I found that on the clearance rack."

Well it was obviously put there by mistake and is in fact full price.

9. "Can I use this 'Retail Me Not' coupon?"

No, we cannot accept third party coupons.

10. "I'm all set."

When you asked them "Hello, how are you?" I didn't know 'all set' was an emotion.