You Are Allowed Build A Fortress If A Friendship is Tearing You Down
Start writing a post
Friendships

You Are Allowed Build A Fortress If A Friendship is Tearing You Down

A review of Lennon Stella's song, Fortress, from her new EP: Love, Me.

95
You Are Allowed Build A Fortress If A Friendship is Tearing You Down
Josephine Bellman

If you haven't discovered Lennon Stella's music yet, you are seriously missing out. She and her sister, Maisy, began their entertainment career on the tv show, Nashville. After the show's finale, Lennon began her solo career in music and recently released her first EP: Love, Me.

One of my absolute favorite songs from Love, Me is Fortress. Not only is it super catchy but the lyrics resonate with me deeply. Fortress describes the aftermath of leaving a toxic relationship. She builds a "fortress" around herself to ward off the negativity surrounding this relationship. There are three lyrics in particular that I find extremely creative and powerful. They stuck out among the plotline of the song and painted a picture of the personal story Lennon is telling.

"I let you keep taking me up in the madness"

It can be easy to let other people wrap you up in their personal issues and project internal conflict onto you or your relationship. This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships but also friendships and sometimes even acquaintances. We are all human and sometimes we let our negative emotions affect the way we treat other people for no reason other than we are feeling down or mad. While I wish it was easy to stop this pattern of behavior, it is much harder than you might think. We use others as verbal punching bags, we vent, we get irritated easily, and we take all our negativity out on others. It is easier than dealing with it ourselves. But it is important to at least try to think before you burst at the seams with frustration, that the person you are about to unload your stress on has a million things they are going through themselves and don't deserve to have more things add to their plate unnecessarily.

"You don't get in my brain, you don't fill up the spaces"

Cutting toxic people out of your life is okay. Another thing about being human is that we always want to please others. Most people don't like confrontation and want others to feel at ease in their company. But I am here to tell you that if you feel like you are giving 100% to a relationship and receiving nothing back in return, it is okay to let that friendship go. Your mental health and well-being is more important than pleasing that one person. One of my favorite quotes I have heard about friendship is "some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

"I'm not letting you in, now that I built a fortress"

Another important aspect of friendships that people forget about is that it is okay to keep your guard up. You don't have to be vulnerable with everyone and you don't have to share your life story with every friend you make. The wonderful thing about friends is that we get to choose who we surround ourselves with. It is natural to feel drawn more to some people than others and it may be those people we feel drawn to who we choose to open up to.

I have always been one of those people who wears my heart on my sleeve. I am for the most part an open book. To some extent, this is a good thing because it has allowed me to make some extremely close friends. They have opened up to me because I was open with them. However, my emotional honesty has come at a cost in friendships where that openness has backfired. Instead of building a close friendship, it has left me vulnerable in times of conflict.

If you haven't listened to Fortress yet, I couldn't recommend it enough. The lyrics are powerful, relatable, and will really get you thinking. Music is special in the way that it can make you feel a lot less alone in your daily battles. Knowing that I am not the only one who has been through relationships and friendships that have negatively impacted me is a comforting feeling. It is okay to let those people go and to prioritize you. We are told far too often to give and give and give to others but that should never be at an emotional cost to yourself. Prioritize "me time," surround yourself with positive people, and take care of your physical and mental well-being. These things are just as important.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Dear College Students, Are You Undecided?
https://pixabay.com/photos/college-students-diploma-graduate-3990783/

Up until last week, I always had a major. I was an international business major, finance major, psych major on the pre-medicine track… and now (finally) I am exactly where I should have been when I started college: undecided. I think there is too much pressure as a high school student to have a designated path about what you want to study, be when you 'grow up' and essentially spend the rest of your life doing. As an 18-year-old, I really feel like I tried to pin myself down to a major so that I had a set path to follow and something to look towards. This is probably very conventional and I know tons of people at school who have their minds made up about what they want to study.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Life Is Messy

Finding who you are in your 20s

1764
Life Is Messy
https://www.pexels.com/photo/shallow-focus-photography-of-yellow-sunflower-field-under-sunny-sky-1169084/

I am 25 years old and just now learning who I am. When I separated from my husband I was terrified of what would follow. I did not know who I was outside of a relationship, nor did I know how to be on my own. It was scary, and I was so lost. I spent months discovering who I was, and what I wanted to be. I am still searching as I believe we never truly know who we are even when we "grow up". I came to the realization that I had been hiding a part of myself for my entire life. Coming out was not easy, growing up in the church made it scary, and hard. I was told growing up that being anything but straight was such a sin, and that i would spent my life in hell because of it. I came out to my parents when I was 25 years old. I picked up the phone and called my mom, and uttered the words "I'm queer" through tears. I knew my parents would be supportive, but that didn't make it any easier for me to vulnerable and raw. Since then, I have slowly started being more authentic in who I am, and not hide parts of me just because of people's shitty opinions.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Ask Your BFF These 20 Questions To See If They Know You As Well As You THINK That They Do

Ask your best friend these basic questions to see just how well they know you.

40651
Ask Your BFF These 20 Questions To See If They Know You As Well As You THINK That They Do

My best friend has been in my life since we were 3 years old, now that we are adults now, I'd like to ask her these questions to see how well she knows me.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Alone At The Met

I survive a day alone in NYC.

10625
Wikimedia Commons

It was six in the evening. I was sitting in the courtyard of a Renaissance-era Italian villa, glancing around at the statues, most notably one of a boy removing a thorn from his foot. Despite the supposedly relaxing setting, I was incredibly anxious. My phone was at less than 5 percent battery, and once it died I would be completely disconnected from my family and peers, alone in one of the largest art museums in the country.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

College 101: How To Ease The Back To School Blues

Getting back into the school groove when you just can't seem to let go of summer.

11632
Beyond The States

With fall classes just beginning, many of us find ourselves struck with summer withdrawals. Especially for those who refrained from taking courses over the summer, it can be quite difficult to get back in the swing of things. Fortunately, there are various ways to help make the transition back to college as smooth as possible.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments