Choosing Between Cancer And Brain Cancer: The 2016 Presidential Election
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Choosing Between Cancer And Brain Cancer: The 2016 Presidential Election

Would you like a side of cancer or brain cancer with your president?

18
Choosing Between Cancer And Brain Cancer: The 2016 Presidential Election
www.politicususa.com

I can only write when I'm in an awful mood, and today is no exception. I'm not exactly comfortable with advertising my political views on every social media site, just because I find it inappropriate, but I feel this has to be said. I've seen a disgusting number of political posts from people who should keep their opinions to themselves (thanks, Facebook) and I got a little fired up about it, so enjoy.

The purpose of this article is not to share my political views, but to inform the seven people that will read this (seriously stop telling everyone whom you're voting for; it's just bad etiquette and no one really cares).

"SNL" has some great skits about Hillary Clinton and the election in general on their YouTube page; I recommend it. You might need a laugh after this. On July 26, 2016, Hillary Clinton made history by becoming the first woman to receive a presidential nomination from one of the two major parties. Clinton also recently announced her running mate, Tim Kaine, on the same day that WikiLeaks released the e-mails leaked from the DNC. What a coincidence.

A woman receiving the Democratic nomination for the leader of the executive branch of our country is a huge crack in the glass ceiling in a political world that is dominated by males. Even if the human equivalent of a garbage can have to be the one that did it. Thanks, Hillary! It's really too bad that someone who isn't a true advocate for women's rights is breaking the glass ceiling. Actually, it's downright ironic


If you think that Hillary Clinton is an advocate for women's rights, then I feel bad for you. When her husband, Bill Clinton, was president, he had multiple affairs with interns and the like. Not only did Hillary stand by him, she also went out of her way to discredit the women when they confessed that Bill had sexually assaulted and harassed them. Nice.

I'm not even going to get into the whole e-mail scandal and active sabotage of her opponent's campaign. Losing 3 million votes that didn't have Hillary's name on them isn't the least bit fishy (I need a font for sarcasm).

If I had to describe Hillary Clinton in one word, it would be cancer. Probably a low-grade tumor with high survival chances, but still. Cancer is cancer.

Now that we've met cancer, let's meet brain cancer.

Here are a few facts about the Republican nominee and human equivalent to a dumpster.

Donald Trump was a registered Democrat from 2001 to 2009.

"Make (Insert Country Name Here) Great Again" resembles a campaign slogan from everyone's favorite (sarcasm) world war-causing dictator.

Donald Trump does not actually have a formulated plan for the economy (Hillary's is just to let Bill handle it, so, either way, no one should have high expectations). Donald Trump has had three wives, two of whom were immigrants. This is surprising because Trump apparently hates immigrants so much that he wants to build a wall to keep them out.


The screenshot above was taken directly from Donald Trump's website on his political views. Trump himself is a wealthy globetrotter who brought in two of his wives as immigrants


I met a real live Trump supporter (they're nuts) and despite not being able to cite any of his other views, they told me that they wanted Trump to become president because he was rich so he couldn't be persuaded by bribery. Another fun fact: Trump is actually going into this election in the worst financial state out of the original set of candidates.

Another fun fact: Literally anything concerning Trump's VP, Mike Pence. Pence denies evolution, does not advocate for abortion under any circumstance (including rape or ectopic pregnancies) and does not support the LGBT community in any way, shape or form. Pence believes in discrimination based on race, denies global warming, supports expanded oil drilling to ruin natural resources and believes in upholding the Patriot Act and extending it to include wiretaps on citizens.

Pence also was a Democrat for some time and endorsed Ted Cruz for president. This is the same Ted Cruz that refused to endorse Trump, who at the GOP convention told voters to "vote with their conscience."

Trump and his running mate are brain cancer. Ironically so, because I'm not entirely sure Donald Trump has a brain. This type of cancer has a low chance of survival but a high chance of suffering.

Have fun voting this fall.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
beer on the beach

Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

7 Reasons SoCal Rocks!

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

1427
woman in black and white long sleeve shirt carrying girl in red jacket in Venice beach
Photo by Jeff Hopper on Unsplash

SoCal summers are the best summers by far, and honestly, no argument is needed. But, if you aren't sure why SoCal summers are the best, here are 7 reasons why!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

25 Lyrics for Selfie Captions

Because let's be honest, we all use lyrics.

53753
woman takes a selfie for social media
Pixabay

Sometimes you can't think of the perfect caption for your Instagram post. I love using lyrics as my captions because there's so many great lines in songs that just seem to fit in the moment. Here are some lyrics that could work for your selfie or pictures of you with your friends!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Bruce Springsteen's Top 7 Lyrics

Everything Bruce says in his classic rock songs.

20211
bruce springsteen album cover born in the usa

Anyone who was born and raised in New Jersey (or anywhere really) knows of Bruce Springsteen, whether or not they like him is a whole other situation. I hope that his hundreds of classic rock songs and famous high energy performances, even in his sixties he can put on better concerts than people half his age, are at least recognizable to people of all ages. Love him or hate him (I identify with the former) you have to admit that some of his songs and interviews have inspirational quotes and lyrics.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

New England Summers Are The BEST Summers

Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

5040
Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

You cannot beat the beach. Believe it or not (which many people may not), New England has a long and beautiful coastline. Most of my high school summers were spent sitting on the Wall at Hampton Beach, getting sunburnt and eating Acai bowls from The Secret Spot. The Wall was the place to be both during the day and at night. We begin our days there with a KB's bagel and coffee, and end them with pizza and ice cream. It’s not a New England summer without that 4 p.m. text from someone, “Who wants to meet at the Wall tonight?” Nighttime is for Tripoli’s Pizza, the sound of waves, and wishes on shooting stars. Wednesday nights are especially important, as those are the nights that Hampton Beach sets off the weekly firework display.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments