Choosing Between Cancer And Brain Cancer: The 2016 Presidential Election
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Politics and Activism

Choosing Between Cancer And Brain Cancer: The 2016 Presidential Election

Would you like a side of cancer or brain cancer with your president?

Choosing Between Cancer And Brain Cancer: The 2016 Presidential Election

I can only write when I'm in an awful mood, and today is no exception. I'm not exactly comfortable with advertising my political views on every social media site, just because I find it inappropriate, but I feel this has to be said. I've seen a disgusting number of political posts from people who should keep their opinions to themselves (thanks, Facebook) and I got a little fired up about it, so enjoy.

The purpose of this article is not to share my political views, but to inform the seven people that will read this (seriously stop telling everyone whom you're voting for; it's just bad etiquette and no one really cares).

"SNL" has some great skits about Hillary Clinton and the election in general on their YouTube page; I recommend it. You might need a laugh after this. On July 26, 2016, Hillary Clinton made history by becoming the first woman to receive a presidential nomination from one of the two major parties. Clinton also recently announced her running mate, Tim Kaine, on the same day that WikiLeaks released the e-mails leaked from the DNC. What a coincidence.

A woman receiving the Democratic nomination for the leader of the executive branch of our country is a huge crack in the glass ceiling in a political world that is dominated by males. Even if the human equivalent of a garbage can have to be the one that did it. Thanks, Hillary! It's really too bad that someone who isn't a true advocate for women's rights is breaking the glass ceiling. Actually, it's downright ironic

If you think that Hillary Clinton is an advocate for women's rights, then I feel bad for you. When her husband, Bill Clinton, was president, he had multiple affairs with interns and the like. Not only did Hillary stand by him, she also went out of her way to discredit the women when they confessed that Bill had sexually assaulted and harassed them. Nice.

I'm not even going to get into the whole e-mail scandal and active sabotage of her opponent's campaign. Losing 3 million votes that didn't have Hillary's name on them isn't the least bit fishy (I need a font for sarcasm).

If I had to describe Hillary Clinton in one word, it would be cancer. Probably a low-grade tumor with high survival chances, but still. Cancer is cancer.

Now that we've met cancer, let's meet brain cancer.

Here are a few facts about the Republican nominee and human equivalent to a dumpster.

Donald Trump was a registered Democrat from 2001 to 2009.

"Make (Insert Country Name Here) Great Again" resembles a campaign slogan from everyone's favorite (sarcasm) world war-causing dictator.

Donald Trump does not actually have a formulated plan for the economy (Hillary's is just to let Bill handle it, so, either way, no one should have high expectations). Donald Trump has had three wives, two of whom were immigrants. This is surprising because Trump apparently hates immigrants so much that he wants to build a wall to keep them out.

The screenshot above was taken directly from Donald Trump's website on his political views. Trump himself is a wealthy globetrotter who brought in two of his wives as immigrants

I met a real live Trump supporter (they're nuts) and despite not being able to cite any of his other views, they told me that they wanted Trump to become president because he was rich so he couldn't be persuaded by bribery. Another fun fact: Trump is actually going into this election in the worst financial state out of the original set of candidates.

Another fun fact: Literally anything concerning Trump's VP, Mike Pence. Pence denies evolution, does not advocate for abortion under any circumstance (including rape or ectopic pregnancies) and does not support the LGBT community in any way, shape or form. Pence believes in discrimination based on race, denies global warming, supports expanded oil drilling to ruin natural resources and believes in upholding the Patriot Act and extending it to include wiretaps on citizens.

Pence also was a Democrat for some time and endorsed Ted Cruz for president. This is the same Ted Cruz that refused to endorse Trump, who at the GOP convention told voters to "vote with their conscience."

Trump and his running mate are brain cancer. Ironically so, because I'm not entirely sure Donald Trump has a brain. This type of cancer has a low chance of survival but a high chance of suffering.

Have fun voting this fall.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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