There was one point in high school where I thought I was going to do my sport for a long time - probably until I had kids. My parents also thought that I was never going to do it, but sometimes things are not always what we think they are. Sometimes we see that there are more important things. Our priorities and goals change and sometimes It's things that are out of our control. We really cannot escape the cons or our choices.
Recently I made the hard decision of leaving the activity that has given me the sun and more. Not because of bad things like having a negative experience but simply because I needed to focus on bigger things. I realized that I need to seek better opportunities and live my life and not let this activity take more time. When we do a sport the amount of time that we spend prepping and conditioning for the big day takes a lot of time.
When we started conditioning I always thought about what else I could be doing or how I could be using my time for better use. I always thought about how I would rather be doing something else and maybe this is my growing out of my art or maybe it's just the realization that I do not get what I use to get from it, but I asked myself: "If I have doubt why did I do it in the first place?"
Color Guard will always be a part of my life and I will always be thankful for all the beautiful people and wonderful memories it has given me. This activity gave me the wings and the confidence that I needed in order to succeed in real life. It taught me all the potential I must do something that I never thought I would be able to do. It taught me what real passion feels like to be the best at your craft and that is something I will never forget.
The way I look at it is that I have served my time and it's time to let someone else have the spotlight. It's time for me to look for other things that I am passionate about, and really expand my horizons. Something that I also have thought about is how I really was not getting that sense of fulfillment that I use to get when I was younger. In a way, all of the feelings I would get (excitement, happiness, fulfillment) never seem to hit me as they did before.
I have noticed that a lot of my friends always have had a hard time leaving the activity. I do not know if it's because they feel they owe it to the activity or because they won't feel as connected to those individuals they have met. But if the people you have met are genuine and you feel like you have fulfilled your role, then it's time for you to find your next role.
