I’ve both heard and seen this phrase used on countless occasions, mostly on social media. People use it when they see a Victoria Secret model posing on a lingerie ad, saying her stick figure is not representative of “real women”. Or conversely, when a picture of actresses such as: Ariel Winter, Amber Rose or model Ashley Graham are shared on people’s Facebook feeds and are praised as being “real women”. I understand the limited representation of varying body types in the media and the problems Photoshop and airbrushing in magazines and the entertainment industry present, but, what I do not understand is distinguishing one body type as being more “real” than the other. This rhetoric tends to be more hurtful then it is helpful in the strides women are making in being accepted for more than our bodies. Accepting one another is key but the time we spend focusing on our bodies is time taken away from focusing on the value of women and the important roles we assume in society.

By insinuating that there is one "real" type of woman we are perpetuating the very idea that women are objects and our bodies are the primary reason for our existence. Why do we as females feel the need to criticize our own sex when the very thing we claim to want is to be accepted for who we are beyond our sex? How can we expect to not be oppressed if we continue to play such a big role in our own oppression? Logically, we are all real human beings and we are women, so when we use this phrase, what are we really saying? If we as women want to be valued for our minds, our beliefs, our potential, then we need to stop putting down our own sex and instead lift each other up by embracing that we are all women, but beyond that, we are all people who deserve respect regardless of how we look.