19 Things I Want To Be Before I'm Not 19 Anymore
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19 Things I Want To Be Before I'm Not 19 Anymore

I want to be so much more than just 19.

19 Things I Want To Be Before I'm Not 19 Anymore
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Turning 19 is weird. It is my last year being a teenager. I feel old. I feel like I should have my life together, but I still don't know how to use a coffee maker that isn't a keruig. I feel like i'm kinda an adult, but also, not at all. College is a weird mix of not knowing anything going on in your life while simultaneous feeling like you know it all. To celebrate this awkward age, here I am reflecting on everything I want to be at my next. This is going to be cheesy. I'm going to sound like a fortune cookie. I'm going to get kitty-pool-level deep. I'm going to be 19.

1. I want to be VULNERABLE

I want to reveal my heart more. I want to find joy in openness. I want my heart to break between changing playlists and sunsets over Sanford. I want to be so vulnerable my heart breaks apart with expansion. I want to be so open so much love can flood in through the cracks. I want to be transparent as glass showcasing my truest self for all to see.

2. I want to be RESILIENT 

I do not want to be known for the things that have happened to me but for the way I respond to them. I don't want to waste my time on what I can't control, but respond only in growth and understanding. I want comebacks like UGA second half of the Vandy game. I refuse to settle for what happened without acknowledging the growth that is happening.

3. I want to be POWERFUL

I can do literally anything, and I want to learn to believe it. I want to take myself seriously enough to be persistent. I will be invincible with strength. I want to carry the whole world on my shoulders like wings- bearing the weight of it all, but remaining unaffected and instead empowered.

4. I want to be KIND

I want people to know me for how I treat others. I want to be known for my heart and the kindness that shines out of it. I want to be the person that is there for everybody regardless of what's going on or who it is. I want my character to be so known, if someone were to speak badly of me, no one would believe it.

5. I want to be LOVING

I want to always look for the good in people around me and love them unconditionally. I want to love like the Lord: patient and kind and regardless of circumstance. I want to practice radical acceptance in daily life through daily trials. I want to love like others don't, so that one day, they will.

6. I want to be PATIENT

I don't want to be mad. Instead, I want to understand with patience. I want to take time for things to grow rather than rush through the circumstances. I want to wait on what is worth it while dropping everything that isn't.

7. I want to be CONFIDENT

I want to be so in love with myself to not care when people aren't. I want to know who I am in such strength that I know what I bring to the table enough to be okay eating alone. I am far too proud for anyone to convince me I am less than I have been made to be.

8. I want to be CARING

I never want anyone to feel like they can't come to me. I want to love people fully and openly. I want to spend the next year caring for the people around me and pouring into them with my whole soul.

9. I want to be PEACEFUL

I want to be in a mindset of stillness. I want a calm heart ready to take on any battle with grace. I want to find the comfort amongst the chaos. I want my soul to be so still that negativity doesn't exist in such a peaceful place. I want to rest faithfully in joy. I will seek peace despite all battles, even if i'm losing.

10. I want to be PASSIONATE

I want to shine like glitter at a Kesha concert- so bright it's blinding. I want my desires to completely take over my goals pushing me towards them. I am passionate about so many things, and I want to pursue all of them in everlasting energy.

11. I want to be OBSERVANT

I want to watch the little things in life. I want to see the goodness in all of it. I want to search for the sunlight in the shade and thrive off of it. I want to behave in a way I see beauty in ordinary things. I want to be self aware to the point I see how far I have come and understand why the waiting makes sense.

12. I want to be JOYFUL

I believe happiness is a feeling, but joy is a choice. I want to choose to live in perfect pleasure regardless of the circumstances. I want to avoid comparison like the plague. I want to rejoice in all good things celebrating them to the fullest extent.

13. I want to be PURPOSEFUL

I want everything I do to be intentional. Life is too short to wait for things to happen. It is too short to live without a true reason to. I will not wait for the stars to align, and if doors don't open, i'll beat them down. I want to be deliberately dedicated towards making shit happen.

14. I want to be MEMORABLE

I want to leave an impression. I want people to remember aspects about me I tell them in the elevator. I want people to remember how I treated them 15 years from now, and I want them to tell their grandkids about the girl on the hall who probably cared too much for her own good. I want to be set apart for my unique love. I want to be someone worth never forgetting.

15. I want to be HOPEFUL

I want to believe in everything despite it all. I want to look forward to all the beautiful things yet to come into my life rather than dwelling on what used to be in it. I want to cross today's calendar out and focus on the next one without a second thought. I want to be so set on the future, I forget everything that isn't improving it.

16. I want to be FREE

I don't want to ever feel tied down to my life. I want to feel nothing but fully alive at all times. I refuse to exist in a state of numb routines. I want to live a life with the freedom to change it if needed. I want wild. I want chaos. I want it all.

17. I want to be INDEPENDENT

I want to be a rocket ship- fueled by fire and ready to take off. I will not require validation from anyone. I am a land lord where not everyone renting space in my head deserves to be there. I want to be so independent to evict negativity like a bad tenant. I want to build a space for myself so secure, I'm untouchable. I want to be independent beyond belief but friendly like no one else.

18. I want to be MYSELF

No one has seen everything I have seen or touched what I have touched. No one else in this whole world has thought all of my thoughts or felt everything I feel. I refuse to water down myself for other people. I cannot conform to fit other people's concepts. I will not adopt personality traits like my next charity chase. I don't need to add or subtract anything from my life to be the answer. I want to be so overwhelmingly myself, no one else knows what to do with it.

19. I want to be PROUD

Amongst all of these things, I want to be proud of the progress I can make in a year. I want to be proud of the personal growth that is continuously in my life. I want to reflect at 20, the end of my teenage years, and I want to be proud of who I am. I want to look back and know that my choices all lead me exactly to where I want to be. Here's my cookie jar of growth quotes and laundry list of ideas. Here's my resolutions for this next year despite it being far from January 1st. Here's to everything I will be in my 20 somethings.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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