I got asked in one of my classes what makes me skip (in the education world, skipping means your happy), what makes you want to sing your favorite song or drink a cup of coffee. My professor was trying to get the class to unfold what inspires us and what makes us truly happy. He said, "How can you ask your students what makes them happy, to go to their happy place, if you can't answer the same question.
So I sat, and I wrote things down...
2.) My family
Each person had to share their answers, so I did and we went about our lecture.
Leaving class and walking across campus had me thinking. What truly makes me happy? What makes me want to sing my favorite song? Why am I so quick to judge others and myself?
1.) When one of my students I work with tells me they had an awesome day and earned DOJO points
2.) When I can mark off an item on my TO-DO list, this makes me want to scream and dance!
3.) When my brother randomly texts me that he misses me
4.) When the leaves change colors
5.) When I see my roommates did their dishes
6.) Being told thank you when I help someone
7.) Not falling out of the Company run
8.) Looking at old photos
9.) Thinking of having children one day
10.) Getting a sweet message from my loved one
11.) Getting into bed with my fresh and clean satin sheets
12.) Putting on my acne medication, every night
13.) Listening to music and cooking dinner by myself
14.) My tattoos and looking at new ones to get
15.) When someone calls me beautiful
16.) Knowing my friends and family are okay
18.) Anything pink
19.) Waking up every morning for PT
20.) Being alive and knowing that I'm loved by God
Some days I'm really down, life is kicking me in the butt and I don't feel happy. Allowing yourself to TRULY feel happy and everything that comes with being happy (negative thoughts, blockage, holding myself back) is apart of me and who I am.
Am I truly happy with myself? Is my body where it needs to be? Should I change my hair color to fit in? Why can't I be small and tiny like other girls? Negative-self talk is a killer, which creates so much internal stress.
I can get caught up in societal views, but I need to constantly remind myself that true happiness is not determined by external circumstances, but by our internal focus. (Learned this in Ed Psych ;) *see mom I pay attention)
And to be completely honest, I do get caught up judging others, or myself thinking I'm not "perfect enough."
This is my inner ego bringing up my inner critic and it causes a huge block to truly feel happy. My dad is constantly reiterating to me that happiness is in our own mindset and that we choose how to live.
We all have our good and bad days, it's normal and okay. The grass is always greener. I need to allow myself to truly feel happy and unhappy because its what fills the puzzle pieces within me, and until I accept this I will be at a lose for my own true happiness.