Men's Body Wash
Start writing a post
Beauty Fashion

Manly Products Have Manly Names—I think...

Wouldn't you want to smell like an artic sea fresh glacier? I totally would.

148
https://www.pexels.com/photo/three-person-taking-a-bath-929274/
Pexels

If you ever find yourself bored at any type of grocery or department store, here's a game you can play. Go to the body wash/shampoo aisle and read the names of the products, whoever finds the strangest name, wins. Personally, I think men's products take the cake on this one. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

1. Charcoal and clean

Giphy

Yes. Body wash gets you clean. If it didn't, I would be concerned as to why it was marketed as such a product. Body + wash = clean. Right? So why does it need to be explained in the fragrance name? I don't get it.

2. You

Giphy

So does this smell like you? Or me? Or Chris Hemsworth? Maybe Cole Sprouse? (Don't ask me why those were the first two male celebrities that popped into my head, okay? Okay. Moving on.) Such a vague name for a personal product, if you ask me. Or is that the point? Is this supposed to seem personal? I think I'd prefer to smell charcoal clean, thanks.

3. Cool Charge

Giphy

I imagine this one is meant to make you feel refreshed but all I can think about it batteries. Does anyone want to smell like a battery? What do batteries even smell like? Go sniff one and let me know.

4. Dark Temptation

Giphy

Ooooh. We're getting mysterious now. If this is meant to make guys feel they're the cool guy from the movies with his hair slicked back, leather jacket and only mutters under his breath most of the time, then yes. This works but if that's not what this company was going for, then I'm not too sure what they were.

5. Black

Giphy

Compared to what? White? Blue? Green? Yellow? Do colors even smell like anything? If so, is this what black is supposed to smell like? How do they know? A lot more questions than answers on this one.

6. Chill Black

Giphy

So the same as black, but just cold. Got it.

7. Snake Peel

Giphy

You know the skin that snakes shed that sometimes can be found around your yard if you happen to live in a wooded area with a few stone walls? Is that what this is? Or are we going for more of a banana vibe?

8. Sensitive Shield

Giphy

​All I can think of is captain America whipping out his "sensitivity shield" in battle and then just bursting out into tears. Definitely not what they were going for.

9. Fresh Awake

Giphy

Again. Body + wash = clean, which also = fresh. I know the whole world likes to market products that say what they do but common sense people.

10. Aqua Impact

Giphy

Thank god, my aqua is impacted. I don't know what I would do without some impacted aqua. What does that even mean, by the way? Does anyone know?

I can't be the only one who sees this stuff and laughs at the ridiculousness. Do guys even pay attention? Do any of you care what you wash yourself with or as long as you don't smell like a wet dog who's rolled in its own poop, you're cool with smelling like a dark ice mountain rock cliff? Even if that makes no sense, what so ever. Genuinely curious.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

72030
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

133877
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments