Satire | Using Church To Manipulate State
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Satire | Using Church To Manipulate State

Opinion | King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed

41
Satire | Using Church To Manipulate State
Crystal Van Houtte

The United States Of America is falling apart at the seams. The citizens are constantly inundated with news of treason and scandal in the highest level of government, while their constitutional and human rights continue to diminish on a daily basis.

Since the regime of "King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " has assumed power under suspicious circumstances, the administration has been flagrantly ignoring the Constitution.

"King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " began to build his makeshift autocracy with sycophants willing to pledge their undying loyalty to him and him alone. He scoured the land for the nations most despicable members of the Alt-Right movement to place as his counsel.

"King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " began firing off unhinged posts on Twitter at all times of the day and night directed at anyone that challenged his makeshift dictatorship. As he continued to hire unqualified citizens for positions within his regime, people began to realize that the most important government institutions were being gutted one by one.

"King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " issued his royal decree that all government institutions were bound by a gag order and no longer allowed to use social media to share information paid for by the public, with the public.

The protests that have been raging across the country began to displease "King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed. " He began to publicly criticize the United States Constitution. This was an obvious attempt to convince the dumbest of American citizens that destroying their only guarantee of human and civil rights was in their best interest

"King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " vowed to destroy the "Johnson Amendment" which prohibits non-profit churches from endorsing or opposing a political candidate. He began this destruction when he signed an executive order on religious freedom on National Prayer Day earlier this year.

"King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " and his Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos have vowed to use the education system to "Advance God's Kingdom." Anyone that has been paying attention, knows that "King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " is about as far away from legitimately following Christian mandate, as the Dali Lama is from being a money hungry capitalist Martian.

"King Donald Of Orange, The Doll Handed " was compared to God in Alt-Right mailers and in meme's in religious paid troll groups online. While citizens that follow the true teachings of Christ were labeled the enemy by his treasonous regime and his supporters. Some of his supporters even went as far as to publicly criticize NPR on twitter when NPR posted the U.S. Declaration of Independence on July fourth, 2017. These sycophants were failed by the public education system.

On a very serious note, this country is in danger of having what little freedoms its citizens have left destroyed by Christian Alt-Right Extremists under the guise of merging church and state. These people have committed treason to reach their current positions. These people care only for power and profit. These people do not follow the teachings of the God they claim to represent. These people are using loyalty to God to justify committing human and civil rights violations. Do not be fooled. There was a reason our country's founders saw fit to draw a clear line of separation between church and state.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
beer on the beach

Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

7 Reasons SoCal Rocks!

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

1790
woman in black and white long sleeve shirt carrying girl in red jacket in Venice beach
Photo by Jeff Hopper on Unsplash

SoCal summers are the best summers by far, and honestly, no argument is needed. But, if you aren't sure why SoCal summers are the best, here are 7 reasons why!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

25 Lyrics for Selfie Captions

Because let's be honest, we all use lyrics.

53957
woman takes a selfie for social media
Pixabay

Sometimes you can't think of the perfect caption for your Instagram post. I love using lyrics as my captions because there's so many great lines in songs that just seem to fit in the moment. Here are some lyrics that could work for your selfie or pictures of you with your friends!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Bruce Springsteen's Top 7 Lyrics

Everything Bruce says in his classic rock songs.

20394
bruce springsteen album cover born in the usa

Anyone who was born and raised in New Jersey (or anywhere really) knows of Bruce Springsteen, whether or not they like him is a whole other situation. I hope that his hundreds of classic rock songs and famous high energy performances, even in his sixties he can put on better concerts than people half his age, are at least recognizable to people of all ages. Love him or hate him (I identify with the former) you have to admit that some of his songs and interviews have inspirational quotes and lyrics.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

New England Summers Are The BEST Summers

Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

6439
Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

You cannot beat the beach. Believe it or not (which many people may not), New England has a long and beautiful coastline. Most of my high school summers were spent sitting on the Wall at Hampton Beach, getting sunburnt and eating Acai bowls from The Secret Spot. The Wall was the place to be both during the day and at night. We begin our days there with a KB's bagel and coffee, and end them with pizza and ice cream. It’s not a New England summer without that 4 p.m. text from someone, “Who wants to meet at the Wall tonight?” Nighttime is for Tripoli’s Pizza, the sound of waves, and wishes on shooting stars. Wednesday nights are especially important, as those are the nights that Hampton Beach sets off the weekly firework display.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments